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CommentsI received an email from Helen Baldwin letting us moms know that her book about her precious son is out and where we can find it. She was very kind to be so inclusive of the families. Here is part of the email..From: "Helen Baldwin" jeffreyb@skybest.com ...Subject: The Jeffrey Journey....................... Greetings and happy, healthy new year to all! Many prayers go to those families who are having a rough time with illness right now. You have many angels watching over you.... This is just a quick note to announce that The Jeffrey Journey is now available through Amazon.com in addition to Trafford, the publisher (http://www.trafford.com/robots/03-0953.html and our own secure site (http://balderdashe.com/ It is very exciting to see the availability slowly spreading out, as that means even more folks will learn about SMA while they're discovering the book!.
CommentsHi Betsey, Just wanted to check in with you and see how you are doing. I often think of you and remember you in my prayers. Each time I visit this site I am always amazed by your courage and your accomplishments. I know Conner is so proud of you. I am doing okay. Busy with graduate school and work and Andrew's Toybox. We are thinking of trying to have another baby this summer so please pray for a good outcome! I've been ready for a long time but my husband hasn't so now we've decided that summer '04 is the time! We are thinking of doing the IVF/PGD instead of "chancing it" and having another baby with SMA. These are hard decisions. I just hope we make the right ones. I think of our little ones all the time. I was looking at Conner's pictures tonight. Even though I never met him, I feel like he's been such a big part of my life. I often imagine what he and Andrew are doing...it is beyond my wildest dreams I'm sure but I still like to imagine and dream about them playing and being happy. Send me a line when you can. Love, Gina Fimbel
CommentsI just read over what I wrote and I just wanted to say that I hope that I didn't sound weird or cold when I said something about "having another baby with SMA". I hope it goes without saying that if we did decide to "chance it" and we had another SMA baby, it would of course be loved more than I could possibly put into words. I guess I just wanted to clarify that having another baby with SMA wouldn't be a horrible thing, of course I would prefer to give my next child the gift of health if at all possible since I couldn't do that with Andrew. Am I making sense? Like I said, these are very hard decisions. Take care, Gina
CommentsGina, thank you so much for thinking of us. I have the musical statue with the little boys that you gave me on the mantle at Conner's Place. I have Colin and Casey's picture there, also. And I have Conner's picture hanging above the mantle. I have people come in for training or other stuff and they ask about the name and I have my displays to help explain about the kids and the disease. Gina, thank you so much for reaching out to me when Conner died (and before). It meant so much to me. I know exactly what you mean about taking the chance. It is so hard to explain how you love the baby but hated the disease. Its almost like if you talk bad about the disease, you talk bad about the baby because the disease to differing degrees has defined our lives and our babies. I do the same thing when I talk about having a healthy baby. I say I want a healthy baby but I know for a fact that I would love it no less if something were wrong. Its like this time I'm saying, "This time I want a healthy baby-unlike the last one." And that doesn't feel right. I guess the easier thing to say is, "I hope my baby is healthy and doesn't suffer from incredible discomfort and doesn't die due to that discomfort." And then it sounds more reasonable to not want to give birth to a baby with sma. But, I can't imagine loving another baby they way I did with the intense connection I had with Conner. And I know his disease was what made him the person I loved in the way that I did. I know exactly how you feel and why you felt the need to add that. We don't want anyone to get the wrong idea about how we felt about our sick babies. I will be thinking of you and sending all prayers your way. I pray that you can get through whatever happens. Thanks, Gina.
CommentsWe're at Grammy's tonight going to Abby's CheerSouth Competition! She was so cute and excited tonight. I am so proud of her. She has worked her hiney off.
CommentsAbby and her CheerSouth team won second place which was pretty good. Next weekend they are competing at the World Congress Center. She was so good! She also met her little brother for the first time. She kissed all over his face and gave him lots of love. .....Abby said competing and going on the trip with the team was the most fun she's ever had. She has exceeded her dreams and goals she defined for herself. I was a little worried about her disappointment at not getting the excitement from an audience as she has dreamed since she could speak. Little girls always say they want to perform and dance on stage in front of lots of people but I underestimated Abby's drive to get what she wants. Thank goodness I kept my mouth shut. Stubborn as can be, a strong Carlisle trait...
CommentsHey Betsey! I was just checking to see what you were up to. Sounds like you've been working really hard! Abbey sounds like she's a dynamo!! I fell very honored and pleased that you have Casey and Colin's picture up in Conner's Place, thank you! I will email you an updated picture of them, soon. Hey did you hear we went to Disney/Sea World for Casey's Make A Wish??? We drove all the way to Florida in an RV!!! Take care, Sue
CommentsSorry it has taken so long to write again. That is so neat that they went on such an exciting trip! Thank you so much for keeping up with us. I will visit their pages and drop them a note. What special babies (oops,BIG BOYS). I'm so glad to hear of their trip. It makes me smile really big.
CommentsHaven't visited in awhile. Gary and I had an announcement at Christmas time...we're getting married the first part of March. No one in my family was surprised since we've been talking about it for awhile. It's a good excuse to create a happy occasion. Also, makes me have to get my house in order since we'll be doing it here with family and close friends. Billy and Shannon are expecting again. We are very happy about a new baby in the family. They are all so special and I can't wait. We'll pray for good health, but as Betsey and Gina both have said, the love isn't commensurate with the health. The love is there in abundance for the precious child who is so innocent and can't choose whether he is healthy or not. It is I who could not stand to watch pain or suffering in a child. It is my selfishness and lack of understanding for God's plan. I have worked on my acceptance of whatever I must face, but I still beg for an end to the pain of my loved ones. I just can't bear that. I wish we could tell God that we've had all we can take, but he's the only one who knows how much more we must endure and why. I, for one, am happy today and hope YOU are.
CommentsCongratulations to you and Gary - and to Billy and Shannon. It certainly is nice to hear good news. Love, Alison
CommentsCongratulations Gary and Sandee!! Your just making it official something that always been very evident. And congratulations to Shannon and Billy. John
CommentsAnd congratulations to Jim and Julie. Babies, babies everywhere. I love babies. I hope Julie has a girl!
CommentsWELL........ JULIE AND I WENT TO THE DR. TODAY AND IT LOOKS LIKE LITTLE JIM IS GOING TO HAVE A BABY SISTER. MARY CAROLINE RIGGS. PLEASE KEEP JULIE AND THE BABY IN YOUR PRAYERS. CONGRATULATIONS SANDEE AND GARY, ITS SO NO NICE TO HEAR GOOD NEWS.
CommentsI am SO HAPPY for YOU!!!!!!!Now, I was thinking you would name her Gecola????? Connie and I joked about that. She would said, "NOOOOO!" I want to see baby Jim. I bet he's doing complicated math by now. I miss him. Abby is going to have a competition at GSU in a couple of months, I THINK. I'll have to let you all know. There is nothing like a baby to exorcise pain in a family.
CommentsCongratulations, Jim and Jule. I can't wait to see that little girl and especially little Jim with her. Sonny, I know you must be very happy. I'm excited about my upcoming baby (Billy and Shannon), but it's a long way off right now so I just have to continue to enjoy the ones that I have. They are delightful, of course. Drew is totally contrary and seems to be sticking even closer to his mom and home since he's heard about the new baby. I really enjoy his funny little personality, when I can. Abby and Lauren are both growing up so fast. My heart is breaking for the news on TV right now about the little girl in Sarasota who has been abducted. There is nothing bad enough to do the kind of person who would harm an innocent child, but I can think of few things I'd like to try... Gary and I are trying to get things in order for March 7. If any of you folks would like to come, we'd love to have you. It's going to be at my (little) house and very informal.
CommentsDear Betsey, What an experience to see each of you this past weekend. I was so happy to see Skyler and Cassie with such wonderful and loving family and friends. The event was beautiful and so very touching. As I watched the video it brought forth such warm memories of how truly brave "our" Conner was. On the lighter side, what a great dancer Abby is!! My hat is off to the circle of friends that keep the SMA Foundation and the awareness of importance alive for the children. Keep that lovely smile, eat your vegetables and enjoy life. You are loved. Miss Lucie
CommentsThank you, Miss Lucie. We had a great time. Abby had been looking forward to the dance. She feels its her way to contribute to Conner's cause. I was so glad to see Skylar and Cassidy. They remind me so much of Conner. All the kids have a likeness. I saw Sonny yesterday and he filled a prescription for me. I went to the doctor and was prescribed pre-natal vitamins. So, I will eat my vegetables and take my vitamins for me and the new baby. Abby is a little concerned about the amount of attention she may have to share but we're excited. Another beginning...
CommentsBetsey, How wonderful for you and Brandon!!! I now know why your smile was so extra beautiful and you looked so very special!!! Abby will adjust and enjoy the new beginning with you. Love, Miss Lucie
CommentsHey, everyone. We're at my house which won't be mine soon, and I'm doing my project (tee hee). I miss everyone! Congratulations Betsey and Brandon. I"m not sick anymore! I was comin' on because I asked Abby if she was excited about Betsey's being pregnant. She said, "Kinda no," and I asked her why. She said she would think of Conner and she would cry. Awwww....but I told her Conner was happy to have a new sibling. She said "Mmm...O.K...".I dont know if she's very convinced, though. I think she wants to say sometihng...:Hello. This is Abby and I love yall. (Kuntry kid...sorry Lauren interrupted). it is nice to talk to you. See You Later
CommentsI feel throw-uppy and tired and achy head. Must work, must do stuff, don't feel good....I'm so excited though. Everyday, I just try to get all my work done so I can get home and I just can't get home before 7 or 8 or 9. But I'm getting lots of work done. Need money for little baby. Must work, make money for baby and Abby. Brandon is doing all he can. We hope to get into another house. We went and looked at one that has three bedrooms and a playroom and an office space and a LAUNDRY ROOM!It also has a fenced in back yard and its on a cul-de-sac. That would be nice. Hmmmmm, we'll see. I go to the doctor Monday for my first ultrasound. I am very, very excited and a little scared. I hope everything is okay with the baby but I know things can happen.
CommentsI have been so sick-excluding the pregnancy sickness. But, the good news is that I think we're getting the house. So far, so good. We're getting excited. Business is doing good. Right now, very good. But I don't want to curse myself, so I'll shut up. And baby is hanging in there, making me super pukey. And Abby is getting excited about a new house and new baby. She is so funny and sweet. She has been commissioned to be in 3 weddings in the next couple of months. I hope the brides don't mind sharing the spotlight.
CommentsThis bride loves sharing the spotlight - especially with all my grandchildren. Can't wait for the TWO new babies to get here. God is good. We woke to a beautiful blanket of white everywhere this morning. I have a hair appointment at 10:00 and sure hope my hairdresser can make it. I'm sure I can. Betsey, take care of yourself. I know that the better business is, the better you'll be in the long run, but getting through this winter and the early stages of pregnancy certainly pose a challenge. However, you have been faced with greater challenges and have proven that you can meet them. We love you and support you. Just wish you were closer to me...
CommentsI had Abby's parent/teacher conference today. She's smart and good and caring. The best report you can get. Her teacher had no complaints. I am so proud of her because I know how hard she tries to be smart and good and caring. She's a dream come true.
CommentsI've been enjoying my Yankee company all week. We've got things ready for tomorrow and looking forward to seeing everyone. I appreciate the beautiful weather we've had this week. They think it's always like this. If it will only hold out through tomorrow so my house won't be packed like a sardine can all day! Can't wait to have my family and Gary's together for the "Big Day".
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CommentsYippy, it works again!!!Okay, I have to add what I wrote about the wedding.......I have been trying to write about the wedding on here forever, but never can finish or it messes up. The wedding was so nice and pretty. It was wonderful being with the family. Abby said Grammy looked more beautiful than she'd ever been and she told me I "looked great out there." So silly. Grammy just came down and help legitimize the house. Its not legitimate until Mom comes and makes the appropriate adjustments. Also, we celebrated Saturday night. I threw Brandon a surprise party for working so hard to get us into our new house. He's done so much. He has literally put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into making sure we are comfortable. I don't want him to think his work has gone unnoticed. I notice and it means everything to me. So, we enjoyed the weekend in the new house. Abby has her jungle gym and swing thing there and played outside, safely. I didn't let her go out alone at the other house. This is what life is about. So now, to preserve this life that I am enjoying, I must get back to work. I don't exactly put in blood, sweat and tears, just time..................Okay, so that was a couple of weeks ago. I have been back to the doctor and saw the baby jumping and twirling around. It was really freaking out in my stomach. Like a little performer. Everything is fine. I'm a little sick and fevery, but overall okay. I've got antibiotics so I'll be great in hopefully a day or two. We are loving our new house and space. Back to work-good-bye!
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CommentsJUST CHECKING IN, GLAD EVERYTHING IS GOING WELL.
CommentsHello, Conner. I hope you are doing O.K.! I wish you a happy day and for your Mommy and Daddy, I'll be praying for your family. This must be so hard. Keep up the Faith you have in God. Annie Farasopoulos
CommentsDear Betsey, I just heard on the news this morning that Marty of the Dixie Chicks was asking that donations be made to Families of SMA. Apparently she is having twins and people were wanting to send her gifts. She immediately ask for donations be made to SMA. If I heard that--look how many millions of others that now know about SMA. They announcer went on to explain about SMA. I was thrilled to hear this and couldn't wait to write. Also, give your Mom my best and tell her how happy I am for her new adventure she is taking. I hope you are well. Take care, eat your vegetables and get lots of rest. Much Love, Miss Lucie
CommentsI had no idea. I found this story on the Dixie Chicks website...........Families of SMA charity donations for Martie's twins 3/23/2004 Many fans of the Dixie Chicks have inquired about a gift registry for Martie's twin daughters. In lieu of gifts, Martie has asked that donations be sent to Families of SMA as a way of honoring the birth of her twins. Please send donations to: Families of SMA P.O. Box 196 Libertyville, IL 60048. Families of Spinal Muscular Atrophy - a volunteer driven non-profit organization founded in 1984 by parents of children with SMA. FSMA is the largest international organization dedicated solely to eradicating SMA. SMA is the #1 genetic killer of children under the age of 2 and there are more than 7 million carriers in the USA alone. Martie chose Families of SMA after meeting a family and hearing of the loss of their beautiful son Andrew, who was only 6 months old when he lost his battle to SMA. As a keepsake Martie will be receiving a list of donors and their donations from the charity. For more information on SMA , please visit www.curesma.com .......................................................................Nothing like a celebrity spotlight to channel dollars towards a cure. Maybe she'll talk to Mark Wills, right Miss Lucie? Thank you so much for keeping up with us.
CommentsThat's great about the Dixie Chicks, but I still don't like their politics. Abby gives me a hard time, because she's evidently being indoctrinated in a leftwing direction that I have to redirect. She's so bright that she listens to everything and I try to tell her that it's ok to disagree with someone's politics and still like the person's heart. Anyway, the wedding was great - beautiful day and loving family and friends, what more can you ask? Jim and Julie, when's that little girl coming? I want to see her. Betsey's house is so nice and comfortable. I'm so glad they are in a cozy place and I do appreciate how hard Brandon works and takes good care of Abby and Betsey and now little "whosits". I'm missing my little Conner as I think of the new babies. He will always be a shining memory for me to hold on to.
CommentsI don't persuade Abby in any political direction. She hears all different sides. She has her own thoughts and feelings about things. I try to give her the sociological point of view. We are the observers. What did she hear or see and how does she feel about it? Also, if parents could persuade their kids to affiliate with a certain party, wouldn't I be a republican? You have nothing to fear. The child is hugely independent with an extremely soft heart. Okay, enough about politics. The discussion breeds discontent. I like my house, too. It is comfy. Also, we just "redid" the office-not painting or anything-just brought in Billy's old office furniture and moved things around and cleaned up. I feel like I have a new office. Its so professional and functional. I can feel the efficiency as I move from one task to the next. I shall go be efficient and effective and change the world. Conner be with me.
CommentsDon't think for a moment that you can't persuade a six year old with the talk she hears from the ones shes around, but when she hits 15 - watch out. That's when you lose all your credibility. Anyway, it doesn't really matter what her politics are - she can't vote. But, hey, LUV YA' Have a good day and get up here so I can spoil you (a little more).
CommentsI can't wait to have my minivacation. I just gotta get some more stuff done and go.
CommentsI was just checking in and noticed you learned about the Dixie Chicks. I can't remember if I told you Betsey (I don't think so) but John & I were able to meet them after a concert here in DC and I presented them with a scrapbook with alot of letters from parents and pictures of their kids with SMA...so they responded by doing this! I think it's amazing! Especially since I love their music AND their politics (had to throw that one out their Sandee, hee hee). They were so great and amazing and even sent me a hand made bowl with their song GodSpeed Sweet Dreams on it (Betsey if you haven't had a chance to listen to it I hope you can). They are really genuine girls. Anyway, let's all pray this raises plenty of donations and awareness! And Congratulations Betsey on your pregnancy! When is your due date? I'll be thinking about you in the months ahead - especially this month. Love~ Gina
CommentsBy the way, you can see a picture of the bowl on the Andrew's Toybox website: www.andrewstoybox.org
CommentsBetsey, Abby, Lauren, Drew and Jeff are all here. Mammaw and PopPop and Billy just left. It was a very fun day. The kind I love. If Shannon had been here the familly would have been complete. I think she needed a little alone time. Lauren and Drew are spending the night, along with Abby, Betsey and Jeff, so we will enjoy the night. Tomorrow everyone goes home and life goes on. Gina, it is really great what the Dixie Chicks have done. I hope more celebrities will hop on the bandwagon and help with finding the cure for SMA. It's hard to imagine that we're going on two years without our little angel. He's still right in the front of our hearts and minds. We wonder about the new baby and know "it" will be so very loved, but we also know that no one will ever replace Conner. He was definitely one of a kind. Just as all of the SMA babies are unique in their own way and special to those who were blessed with knowing them.
CommentsI was wondering if that was your Andrew!!! Abby absolutely loves the Dixie Chicks. The baby is due October 12. I am very happy. Brandon has not been tested for the sma carrier gene (or lack of the gene). We decided to take the risk. Its a smaller risk than others have taken. We will just accept whatever comes, even if its something else. Who knows what challenges we'll face? Anyway, Gina, can you imagine how much attention is now focused on sma because of Andrew and your educating them about sma? That is wonderful that they responded that way. Thank you so much for writing and I will check out the site and see the bowl!
CommentsPlease say a prayer for Brandon's friend, Richard, who was in a motorcycle accident last night. He's a very good young man who works hard and smiles alot. I don't know him as well as Betsey and Brandon, but I know how much they love him and he's always been so pleasant when I see him. He needs your prayers now, and I know how generous the readers of this site are with praying for those who need miracles. Richard is Brandon's closest friend and very much a "brother" to him.
CommentsPlease say a prayer for Brandon's friend, Richard, who was in a motorcycle accident last night. He's a very good young man who works hard and smiles alot. I don't know him as well as Betsey and Brandon, but I know how much they love him and he's always been so pleasant when I see him. He needs your prayers now, and I know how generous the readers of this site are with praying for those who need miracles. Richard is Brandon's closest friend and very much a "brother" to him.
CommentsI hate it when life gets so serious. I was just beginning to believe we were invincible from heart and gut pain. Just when you start to feel safe again, you're threatened. "Don't forget you're human. Anyone you love can die or hurt at ANYtime." I was just starting to stop living that way, and I was getting really good at taking people for granted again. I hate the dramatic reminders. Richard is in MST/ICU. He lost his right leg. They are trying to save his left one. He lost a lot of blood yesterday morning, but they stabilized him. Brandon's still nervous and scared about losing him. We got to see him last night. Its hard to see a perfectly healthy young man in that condition. And part of that condition is final. We love him so much and hope he can come home soon. We hope the angels are watching over him. I think they are. On the way home early yesterday morning, we were driving down 80 from Savannah to Statesboro. Brandon said, "What's with the frogs? You see all the frogs on the road?" I said, "Oh, that's Conner. There's a Conner-frog thing."
CommentsRichard seems to be doing better. He had surgery on his left leg yesterday. He was pretty drugged up, but his personality showed through. He has a good sense of humor and loves his friends and family. Richard is such a good guy and has so many people that care about him and love him. I know that makes a big difference in his future and his ability to handle his new life. This morning, Abby said, "I don't miss Richard in a boyfriend kind of way, but I still miss him." So do I. Conner has really been trying to communicate. When I got into work yesterday, Kate (co-worker) and Millicent (intern) were freaking out. They told me Conner visited. I am not kidding, they told they heard a kid running around the place. They just figured it was a squirrel or something on the roof. Then she said a kid ran across the training room. They heard it in front of them and Kate saw it! I am not kidding. Both of them testified to this. That's just bizarre, but I'm telling you, if you hang out around here long enough, strange things-unexplainable things happen. Brandon doesn't like to be here alone. I'm losing credibility. It's bizarre, but so comforting to think he's come for a visit.
CommentsSo, do think Conner got the big red balloon Abby and I sent up to him? Abby said she thought she could almost see him reach out and grab it. Maybe he wants more balloons - we'll get busy and send him some more. Abby left him a sweet note saying that he was her favorite two year old cousin and to remember that his family all loves him and misses him. Glad to hear Richard still has his sense of humor. It will help to keep that upbeat personality in light of all he has to face. Of course, there will be down times, but that's when his friends and family can take over and let him know that he's not alone in this. There are many people praying for him and cheering him on. Betsey, you said that Brandon was organizing some fund raisers for Richard. I want to contribute and I'm sure that Billy will want to also. So just tell us what he has going on and we'll send checks. Give Richard my regards. What does he like that I could send to the hospital? Any kind of books or candy or what?
CommentsI don't know what he'd want at the hospital. Brandon got him a heavy equipment trader magazine or something like that. I'll ask Brandon. He sounded good today, clear and coherent. He has another surgery at 2. We were able to call and give him good news a little while ago. Today is the day that Conner died, two years ago. I should be sad or mourning his loss today, but I can't help but smile. I had my doctor's appt. today. We weren't supposed to have an ultrasound today, but we did, and we found out we are having a little girl. There is no way I can be sad today. I'm too excited about the future. I can't wait to tell Abby. Thank you, Conner, for being with us. I feel your presence, baby. You'll always be an important part of this family, and I miss you. Mommy loves you and thinks of you today, everyday and forever.
CommentsYea!!! A little girl. How exciting. I have been thinking about you and praying for you a lot the past few days. Carson and baby girl can get married one day, and we can actually be related. Congratulations to you and Brandon. Love, Alison
CommentsThinking about Connor, Betsey, John, and Baby Girl today :o) love Gina
CommentsI'm very happy about our expected little baby girl. Sonny, we'll have grand baby girls born close together. I'm thinking of all my Riggs "relatives" today and hoping you are sharing in my good memories of our little man. I know he's here in all our hearts today and everyday. I miss his sweet little face and big piercing eyes, but as we know, I can't wish him back to go through what he did again. He is truly in a better place. My dear friend Gail lost her father today to cancer. So there's a very sweet soul joining our boy today. Mr. Studdard was a very fine and sweet man, he'll join Connie and Bill in looking out for our Conner boy. The future is good. Love to my Riggs' boys (and girls, too). When is Julie having that baby girl?
CommentsJulie had her baby. I can't wait to see her! I'm excited. Talk later.
CommentsTell me more about Julie's baby. When was she born? How much did she weigh? What's her name? Who does she look like? What does little Jim think? More, more...
CommentsHEY ALL! JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT CAROLINE MARY RIGGS IS DOING FINE. SHE WEIGHED 8LBS 1OZ, AND SHE WAS 20 IN LONG. I THINK SHE LOOKS LIKE JIM WHEN HE WAS BORN. SHE ALSO HAS BROWN HAIR (WHERE DID THAT COME FROM). JIM LOVES HIS LITTLE SISTER AND HAS ADJUSTED O.K. SINCE HE IS NO LONGER THE MAIN ATTRACTION. HE LOVES TO GIVE HER HUGS AND KISSES.
CommentsHey Jim! I can't wait to see the baby. I'll call Julie and find out when a good time would be. I've been feeling our little girl all day squirming around. By the way, Richard is still in the hospital. His left leg has had a couple more surgeries. Brandon said he may be coming home soon. That will be very good. Hangin out at the hospital isn't fun.
CommentsWelcome Caroline! I want to see her the next time I make it down to Statesboro. I guess she got the brown hair from Uncle John and Uncle Daniel, right? And maybe Grandaddy Sonny, but I wouldn't know that - all I've ever seen is the Silver Fox look. Little Jim will be fine when he realizes that the baby won't take away anything from him - only add to the love and fun. Glad Richard is doing well. He is bound to have a bright future with his indomitable spirit. I believe he has what it takes to overcome setbacks, even one this horrendous. Gooooo Richard!
CommentsIf you're reading this: Happy Birthdays to Lisa (25th) and Alison (30th)!
CommentsWelcome Baby Caroline!! I am so excited for you all-Julie, Jim, and Little Jim and all the Riggs. Also excited for Betsey, Brandon and Abby for their new baby girl arriving in October-such a wonderful time for you all! Congrats to Sandee and Gary on thier wedding. My prayers are with you Brandon for your friend. I think of you all often and so glad everyone is doing well. Love always, Belinda
CommentsThanks Belinda. We finally saw Caroline. She is a beauty. And little Jim was so funny in his required camouflage-with the hood up. We got to see the baby today. She appears to have all her stuff. They did the anatomy stuff today. Brandon, Abby and I have decided on naming her Ansley Carlisle Blair. My dad's first cousin's name was Ansley Carlisle. I've always liked his name and his spirit. He laughed and smiled all the time. Just saying his name makes me smile. I was glad Abby and Brandon agreed. Abby was the really picky one. So, when she agreed I knew we were done. Okay, gotta go. Thanks for keeping up!!
CommentsWe enjoyed our visit with the Riggs branch of our family. Wish we could have seen John and Daniel and MaMa....and everyone, but it was good to see Sonny, Jim, Julie, little Jim and Caroline. We're going to have to find something else to call "little Jim" - he's getting so big and so darn cute. I felt honored that he actually hugged me and gave me a big dimpled grin. Little Caroline is a beauty. I can't wait til Ansley is born and we can take her to Julie's for a "play date". She'll be about the right age for lil' Jim. HOw does Ansley Carlisle Blair Riggs sound?
CommentsHello, Is there anyone out there? I was wondering if everything was okay. We haven't heard anything in a while.
CommentsHey there, everything's fine. Same old stuff. Working, dealing with life, etc. The baby is kicking a lot. She's getting big which means I'm getting big. I'm feeling VERY LAZY. I am thankful that I have two wonderful interns working for me this summer. They have taken over two of my big programs which leaves me only to have to run my family violence program. I actually get a little vacation. However, in July, I am losing both my interns and KATE, my partner, my friend. I owe the growth and maintenance of Conner's Place to her. She has done so much to build my business and provide our clients with quality service. The best thing is that all of my employees are not psycho. They are all so down to earth and so easy to work with. How many of you can say that??? Ha! Anyway, I am not going to stress about the changes. I have endured enough to know not to worry about how I'm going to handle things by myself. I know something will come up, or I'll have the ability to handle it!
CommentsHey, we're all moved in. There's not enough furniture and Im upstairs alone every night, but Ive been chilling with Abby since i got out of school. Im going into middle school in about 2 months. Baby-to-be doesnt even have a name yet. Betsey, Im so glad I get to see you today. I wonder what Ansley's going to look like, what with a beautiful mother and handsome, wacky father. I love yall and have a nice summer. All my love. Hee...CHEESE! Tee hee something me and Abby say now.
CommentsI love you, Lauren! What do you think about living in your castle,mansion? It's huge. Billy and I watched a movie in his home theater. Very cool! I know what you mean, Lauren. I felt very lonely down in the guest room-so far away from y'all.
CommentsThere's nothing much to write. The pregnancy is going fine. People keep asking me if I'm worried. I just can't imagine having a situation that could be any worse than the way things worse. And while Conner suffered and endured horrible things, I still had a son that I loved and bonded with and that's not so bad. I know everything will be fine. I know that whatever happens, even the worst, I will handle it. I'm not worried. I am more worried about being able to love this baby as much as I loved Conner. Will I be as good a mommy? I worry about being able to bond with her. I had to bond with Conner because I knew he was going to die. It is very hard not to take the kids for granted when they are healthy and aggravating and tugging at you and making you do their stuff when you really want to do something else. Its a whole different type of relationship. It's very loving but so different from a child that you had to cherish every second and a child that could physically do nothing wrong or aggravating. But, I have to feel the same or its not fair. I don't know how to do that. I always thought if I had a healthy child I would REALLY cherish that child and thank God everyday. I do thank God that I have Abby and that she's healthy, but I can't have the same bond with her or she'd be a raging, spoiled monster. I'll work it out. It's my feeling of guilt I have to work on, I'm acting the way I think I'm supposed to-loving, giving attention, protecting. I guess I just have to learn how to have a relationship with a healthy child-2 healthy children, now.
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CommentsWhoops! Well, I went to Drew's birthday Sunday and he was very sweet. It's hard to believe he's five years old. Couldn't help but think of Conner and the birthday he'd be having on July 13. Eventhough those thoughts may be counterproductive, the are still there and I still miss his presence. We are looking forward to the new babies and have so much love to give to them. Abby is Ky visiting her mom's family. I know she's enjoying her trip and they are getting to see how well she is doing - growing tall and missing her two front teeth. Hi Riggs family. How are Caroline and Little Jim?
CommentsI miss Abby! However, I've gotten a lot of work done. And relaxed...I am very excited. The baby is getting big. I can't believe Conner would be 5 in human years. I don't know how old he is in heaven years. A psychic told me one time that he would seem older when he died and visited me. Hmmmm. He doesn't seem too much older. When I feel Conner visiting, he seems like he's about 8 or 9. The weird things that happen seem like the humor and sophistication of an 8 or 9 year old. Who really knows??? I will when I die. Anyway, business is going well. Conner's Place is growing! We've just picked up another district to cover with our family violence program. And I'm training another facilitator-which means I can step back and continue to grow the program without having to work it so much. I need to make more money so I can pay someone to take care of the baby here with me at work. The more money I make the more babies I can have!! Just kidding. Okay, I'm off.
CommentsI forgot to say, "Happy Birthdays"..............................................Happy Birthday to Connie and Drew. I know Connie's celebrating with Conner. I love you, Drew. You will always be very special to me, my other little boy. I can see it now- me kissing your face and neck and you yelling, "Stop it!!!!"
CommentsI miss Conner. I want to watch videos of him, but I just can't make myself put a video in. Maybe I'll have the nerve tonight. I wonder what Ansley will think of seeing her big brother in the videos. That would be weird to only know your sibling by watching videos of him. At least she'll have that-thanks to John for being so diligent about taking videos.
CommentsWell, I tried to watch a video the other night and I couldn't do it. That sounds so dumb, but I couldn't stand to see Conner's face and hear his voice. All I could see in my brain while I was watching him on the video was his dead and lifeless body. I can't wait until that goes away. I am plagued by the sight of his dead body. Its always there in my head trying to come to the forefront of my mind. When I watch the videos I make it real easy for the thought to shoot up there. I guess this is part of dealing with his death and eventually it will get easier. There is so much to do and so much to think about, but the thoughts of him struggling and dying push all the others aside-mostly when I'm alone or at night when I'm trying to go to sleep-but especially if I watch his videos. I guess I can do what I did when I felt sad about losing my dad. There were so many songs that reminded me of when he died and when we found out that he was shot and died. I would turn the station when the songs from 1980-82 would come on. When I got tired of being a slave to my negative emotions I starting listening to them over and over until new memories were associated with the songs. Maybe I'll go home and eat my favorite food while I watch his videos over and over and reassociate.
CommentsHang in there, Betsey. You are loved. Miss Lucie
CommentsWe really have to put a sweet face on those memories of Conner. When you are the one who was with him when his spirit left his body, it must be very hard to get that picture out of your mind. But you have so many more memories that are of his big eyes, his curly hair, his struggling smile and his nananana's.Acceptance of the fact that you always knew you would have to say goodbye to him doesn't make it any easier, but it's there. And we all know he's not gone. He got my electricity on last night. As I laid in bed and the electricity was knocked off by the storm, I said ok Conner, I won't blame this on you, but if you could just get it back on in a reasonable time, I'd appreciate it and sure enough, he did. Anyway, we can attribute lots of little things to him and we can feel that he's here with us - all of us - but especially his mommy and daddy. I know John has those feelings and thoughts, too. We'll all be thinking of him next Tues and remembering that special day when he came into our lives. Happy, happy happy happy birthday, Conner-boy!
Commentswe actily miss abby at cheersouth
CommentsAbby misses you, too! We'll find out when the next lock-in is and make sure she's there. She's been gone all summer. Today is Conner's 5th birthday (earth birthday). I started out the day watching videos of him. He made me laugh, he was so cute. It was a video of one of his speech therapy lessons with Belinda. Conner enjoyed playing with Belinda so much. He said, "Bye-bye," with help moving his lips. Tonight we're going to have a little, informal celebration of his life. Hopefully, John is coming over and mom is coming down to bring Abby back. So, we'll eat dinner and watch some videos and remember his sweetness.
CommentsIt was a good celebration of Conner's life. We watched the videos of his time here and watched him being loved by all the family and friends. Seeing Connie and knowing they are together is a good feeling. It would be better to have them among us, but we can't have everything we want the way we want it so we take what we can get. It was good to have John with us. It made us feel even closer to Conner. I wish Sonny and Daniel and the Jim Riggs could have been there too. We love you all.
CommentsHEY BETSEY, JUST WANTED TO SAY OUR FAMILY HAS BEEN THINKING OF CONNER AT THIS TIME. I ALSO ENJOY THE LITTLE BOX THAT HAS SOME OF CONNER'S CROPPED HAIR. EVERYTIME ME AND LITTLE JIM ARE AT DADDYS, JOHN HAS A PICTURE OF CONNER ON THE COMPUTER AND I ASK JIM "WHO IS THAT", AND HE ALWAYS SMILES AND SAY'S CONNER, AND THEN I ASK HIM "WHERE IS CONNER", HE SAY'S "IN HEAVEN WITH JESUS". WE LOVE YALL, THE RIGGS.
CommentsHe is so sweet! What a cutie. I can't wait to see him and his pretty sister again. We were glad to visit with John the other night. We enjoyed watching videos of Conner and we watched his birth video (its tasteful). He was such a big baby. I hope Ansley isn't that big. Conner looked like he was 4 mos. old when he came out. Anyway, we'll keep in touch and see you soon. .......Thanks Miss Lucie, I'm trying not to eat too much fatty stuff and stick to the vegetables but the cravings are SO strong!
CommentsOh yes. I am getting very fat. Ansley is kicking me all around and I feel real lazy. Abby enjoyed a weekend at the beach. I can't believe school starts so soon. Hope, Conner's former nurse, is letting us borrow a baby bed and changing table and we are setting up a nursery here at Conner's Place. I am very excited. That was my goal in having my own business-having the kids close by. I can't imagine taking her to a daycare when I have the capability to have her here. Now when she's three, that'll be another story. I'll ship her off to preschool quick. I hope I have some patient interns next time. Tomorrow is the last day for all the interns. Oh how sad I am. My vacation is ending. I will now be working triple what I was this summer. But I have faith! It will all work out! I must tell myself. They have taught me a lot and have gotten me organized, so it'll be fine. Okay, must go home.
CommentsAbby started her first day of first grade today. She looked very cute and was so excited. I can't believe she's so big. I'm proud of her.
CommentsAbby is in the first grade. Oh my, my babies are all growing up. Lauren is going into middle school and Drew is in kindergarten. Now that's really something. But now we will have Ansley and Dylan to start all over with the cute stages and the learning processes. Babies are great, kids are great and even adult kids are great.
CommentsI think I just got the best presents ever. Brandon just called a minute ago to tell me he appreciates me. He said he saw his ex-girlfriend's boyfriend (current/old???) anyway,it prompted him to think of how much he appreciates me. Hey, sounds like a compliment to me. I'll take it. Very shortly after that call, Abby yelled for me. I went to her playroom where she was balled up on her foam bed. She asked me to "get that little critter that's on the floor. It's still alive." I grabbed the bug and walked out and she said, "I appreciate you. If you weren't here to get the bugs, I'd be doomed." I couldn't believe she said the word, "appreciate." That made me feel very........appreciated. And feeling appreciated by your family just doesn't come along everyday. When they verbalize it-its good.
CommentsI enjoy living vicariously through you. Your being appreciated promted a sigh of contentment from me. It has been a LONG LONG time since I have felt appreciated. Carson is still too young to communicate appreciation. It is nice to know someone I care about is being appreciated. What a good feeling.
CommentsAlison, its like that commercial where the person says, "Thank You?" It doesn't matter what's going on. If you hear, "I appreciate you," it just makes you want to hug the person and say, "awwwwe."
CommentsI APPRECIATE you! THANK YOU!!! Now that that's out of the way. Alison, I remember when my kids were too small to know (or care) how much I did for them and loved them. And that was when the work was the hardest...constant attention, always doing something for others and never having time to stop and take care of yourself. As for husbands, they seldom see what's going on. They will tell you how great you are, when you prompt them. But to just realize it on their own is really good. Gotta love Brandon for that! Take care girls. I'm trying to pin Betsey down on a time I can have a shower for her here at my house. We need to get the friends together to check out our little Mama-to-be.
CommentsI always say "Thank you" too. Have there been any sightings of the elusive North American Fat-footed Betsey?
CommentsShe's beginning to emerge, John-starting with the nose.
CommentsHey everyone...haven't written in a while...my computer has a gazillion viruses and of course, it's MY fault, again. School is awesome, I'm having a great time. At my moms baby shower...dont know how she's fitting all that stuff in the car...geez the baby has more stuff than I do, not trying to be selfish :-). SOO excited to have 2 new babies...not so excited to have the baby in the room across from me...ugh, I'll be awake forever. I miss you guys down there and I hope to see yall soon! Lots of love, Lauren¢¾
CommentsHey everyone...haven't written in a while...my computer has a gazillion viruses and of course, it's MY fault, again. School is awesome, I'm having a great time. At my moms baby shower...dont know how she's fitting all that stuff in the car...geez the baby has more stuff than I do, not trying to be selfish :-). SOO excited to have 2 new babies...not so excited to have the baby in the room across from me...ugh, I'll be awake forever. I miss you guys down there and I hope to see yall soon! Lots of love, Lauren¢¾
CommentsI love you, Lauren!
CommentsI had such a vivid dream about Conner last night that I wanted to share it. He was walking and talking and having so much fun. It was a good connection dream and when I woke up, I had my left arm up over my head and I thought about his delivery and that that was how he came out - left arm first. I miss that sweet little boy so much. Don't you?
CommentsIn the ultrasound pictures, Ansley's arm was up by her head. She needs to pull it down. I don't want another arm and head delivery. She had the hiccups this morning. I've been feeling Conner close. He's hovering around his little sis.
CommentsI miss him very much, Grammy.
CommentsI know you do, sweetheart. I know you do.
CommentsHi Conner! I hope you are having a good time in heaven. I hope you like this email. I love you very, very, very much. And you're one of the best cousins I ever had. And I hope you made lots of friends up there. And remember I will always love you, forever and ever and always. And I'm having a good time down here. And play nicely. By Abby.
CommentsBoy, Abby, you sound so grown up and articulate. You amaze me with your sweetness and beauty and intelligence. I'm a very proud grammy and love you so much. I miss you more than you can imagine. All I have ever wanted is to watch you grown into the big girl you are becoming. I want to be more of a part of your life. Talking to you is good, but not good enough. I need to put my arms around you and give you a big squeeze.
CommentsConner has a new little cousin! Dylan Thomas Carlisle was born on Sept. 10. He spent a little time in NICU, but he is perfectly fine now. He aspirated on meconium(sp?). BUT, he is doing great. He is so handsome and makes sweet little squeaky sounds. At 9 pounds, 2.4 ounces he is the most delicate of the three kids as babies. The other two looked like little wrestlers or contestants in a strong man contest. Dylan is a big, delicate, squeaky baby. I love babies! Brandon has been working so hard getting the house ready. We waited to do it for a while but he's catching up. He stayed up almost all night working on the playroom and then went straight to work. AND HE'S picking up Abby again from school today so I can work. He's being a good Mr. Mom, Dad, Maid and worker. I'm proud of him. He is doing a great job for such a young man.
CommentsCongratulations, Ya'll. What color is his hair? Is it curly?
CommentsDylan came home yesterday. Gary and I took dinner to them and he arrived about 8:00PM very sleepy. They did the circumcision before he left the hospital. The Drew was all over him - he loves being a big brother. Dylan has a very little dark hair - nothing like Conner's. He looks alot like Billy did as a baby. I'll email pictures to Betsey and she can share. Now we look forward to Ansley's arrival.
CommentsI'm officially miserable. Can't sleep, feeling too lazy to bend over to pick up stuff or sit and get up again. My biggest maternity clothes are too tight. It's hot. I'm ready but will probably have to wait the full 2 1/2 more weeks. Happy Birthday, Mom! I really wish you and Ansley could share the same birthday. Hope you have a good day.
CommentsBetsey: We have never met but I learned about Conner nearly three years ago now through a nurse named Tracey Carter. I had a son John Edward on April 10, 2001, who was born with a chromosomal defect known as 22Q11 Deletion. One of the physical manifestations of John Edward's deletion was pulmonary atresia (the absence of a pulmonary artery). Two hours after his birth, John Edward was transported to Egleston where he underwent an initial heart surgery at 6 days old. John Edward came home with the help of home health nurses at 2 months old and had a follow-up heart surgery at 4 months old. We were awaiting a complete heart repair at 24 months but lost John Edward unexpectedly on May 22, 2002, at 13 months old. Tracey was one of the many home health nurses that helped me care for John Edward when we first came home. She worked primarily at night and she and I would talk many nights after John Edward was asleep. She also worked with your family helping care for Conner during this time. It was evident in our conversations how much she loved Conner and your family. I, like many, was unfamiliar with SMA and Tracey told me about this website. Back then, I pulled up the website and educated myself on the disease and read Conner's story. I periodically went to the website for Conner updates for several months. I was always amazed at your courage and spirit and the loving way that you cared for Conner. He was a very lucky little boy! In November 2001, as John Edward began to improve, we discontinued our nursing care and I became a 24/7 mom! Unfortunately, my time at the computer was minimal and I lost touch. A couple of weeks ago, I received an email from a friend in Savannah requesting prayer for a baby girl named Aleena who is 7 months old and battling SMA. As you might imagine, you and Conner immediately came to mind and I immediately went to the website for an update. Not surprisingly, I was devastated to learn of Conner's passing (only one month before my sweet John Edward) and thrilled to learn that you are expecting another in a few weeks. Ironically, I too have divorced and remarried and am expecting a baby girl February 21, 2005. The parallels are eery! Having said all of this, I have been following your website again for the past few weeks and continue to be amazed at the phenomenal woman that you are. Ansley will be a very lucky little girl!! I have felt this urge to write to you to let you know the impact that you, Conner and your family have had and continue to have on people that you do not even know. I wasn't sure if the timing was appropriate or how exactly to begin and yesterday I was walking down the hallway in the hospital where I work and ran into none other than Tracey herself!! I have not seen or heard from Tracey since November 2001 so it was quite a shock given recent events. Tracey said that she had lost touch with you as well and so I updated her on all that I knew from having read the website! I knew then that I must write and share this with you! Know that you, Ansley and all of your family are in my prayers, especially so in the coming weeks. I wish you the very best of luck on the delivery of a beautiful, healthy baby girl! And please be sure to update the website with news and pictures!! Feel free to email me if you wish and Tracey gave me her phone numbers as well. If you would like to contact her just let me know and I will forward those to you!
CommentsThank you, Kristi, for writing. It does make me feel very special that you know about us and have followed us. I don't think I can describe just how touched I am right now. Just when I think I'm fading into the anonymity of regular routine momhood, I get a gift from someone like you who reminds me that I did something that was really important and meaningful in my life. Who gets that kind of recognition? Our little ones gave us a chance to prove to ourselves and, I guess, others that we can do extraordinary things when we have to. I'm sorry we share that, but I am so glad to hear that you have found some happiness, like I have. All I want is to be happy. I won't give up, I see the light!!! It will be so special if I can see even a glimpse of Conner in Ansley. I'll take a piece of him as opposed to nothing. I guess I am a piece of him. I hate to hear of another baby being diagnosed with sma. It breaks my heart, tears my heart out to know what these families will face and how they will have to handle everything. Its too much for me to even think about. Thank you so much for reaching out and writing to me. I am thankful to hear your story, the bad and good. Conner has a friend. I think when us moms connect down here it's because our kids are up there facilitating it. Thank you so much John Edward and Conner!
CommentsThat was such a wonderful email, Kristi. I join Betsey in thanking you for contacting her. It means so much to connect to others who understand. Losing a child in any way is so very painful and having to know each day that it could happen makes it very difficult. HOwever, we also had the chance to give Conner so much love and be sure he felt it each day. I'm sure you and your family did the same with John Edward. We do have a "piece of Conner" in many of the remaining family members - John, Daniel, Sonny, Jim - all of the Riggs men are reminders of my "little man" - especially his Daddy. Hang in there big girl. You'll be holding Ansley in your arms soon. I went to see Dylan yesterday and held him and fed him...what a sweetie.
CommentsI think I'm going to have the baby very soon. I'm finishing my work for the day and taking a month off. Today could be the day!!!!!!
CommentsWell, Betsey made it through the night and I'm sitting on ready for the phone call to head down to Statesboro. I remember all too well rushing down when Conner was due and spending several days waiting for him to appear. HOwever, I value the time Ihad with Betsey and Connie. Betsey was uncomfortable but the excitement level was high for all of us. What fun babies are! I have my video camera ready - hope I'll manage to get a "viewable" video for Ansley as I did for Conner...painful but not disgusting. Betsey was a real trooper and I know she will be again. I'm praying for an easier time for her than the last and can't wait to see that "hairy" little baby appear.
CommentsAnxiously awaiting news of Ansley's arrival -- be sure to post when she gets here!!
CommentsBetsey, I wish you the best of luck with your delivery. I also look forward to the posting of your daughter's birth. Take care... You are loved. Miss Lucie
CommentsOnce again a grammy - Ansley Carlisle Blair was born Oct. 4 at 5:30 PM. She weighed 8lbs. 4 oz and was 21.5 in. long. She has a full head of dark hair - just like Conner. She looks a little like Betsey did as a baby with the exception of her cheeks and mouth, which look like Brandon - chubby cheeks and his mouth - big smile. I got home last night and know that Betsey can handle everything - with Brandon's help. She is tired alot because the baby is nursing and wants to eat every two-three hours. She's a good baby and just plain beautiful. She is very strong and moves her little arms and legs constanly and can lift her head - so we are very happy. John came by the hospital and held her. It was good to see him and see him holding a baby. I'm sure she will grow up loving the Riggs family as we all do.
CommentsWelcome little Ansley. I am so happy for you all. She will be so loved! I think of you all often and I am so glad everyone is doing well. Love, Belinda
CommentsBETSEY AND BRANDON, CONGRATS. ON BABY ANSLEY.GLAD EVERYTHING IS GOING WELL. SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN BY , BUT I HAVE BEEN ON NIGHT SHIFT, BUT I WILL MAKE SURE TO STOP BY SOON. JOHN TOLD ME ANSLEY HAD GOOD STRONG MOVEMENT, SO I KNOW THAT'S A RELIEF. NOW THE FUN PART STARTS (GETTING UP, FEEDING, ETC.). I'M SURE ANSLEY AND CAROLINE WILL HAVE FUN IN THE NEAR FUTURE. CALL US IF YOU NEED ANYTHING!!
CommentsThanks for your well wishes! I thought I would take off work, but that's a little difficult. I'm here now, and Ansley's sleeping. She's a good and precious little baby. I'm so proud of her. Abby is a big help, too. She helps however she can. We are all adjusting-and it is definitely an adjustment. We are ALL tired and cranky. Thank goodness I don't have any post-partum depression. I feel the opposite of that. I feel euphoric and that all is right with the world, despite the life stressors that continue to exist. Even when I'm tired and cranky, I still have butterflies in my stomach. It feels like falling in love-excitement and butterflies and never wanting to be apart. I guess I better finish here before she wakes up. Thanks and hope to show her off soon!
CommentsHello! I just wanted to add my congratulations on your new baby daughter! I can't wait for pictures! I'm sure you are crazy busy, but please don't wait too long to post! We're doing fine up here in Vermont. Casey is enjoying going to 2nd grade and Colin is doing pre-school, from home, via video conferencing! Hugs!
CommentsCongratulations Betsey! What a beautiful and joyful thing to celebrate. I'll be thinking of you. I'm so happy for you that it's hard to put into words. Love, Gina Fimbel
CommentsThank you so much. Unfortunately, with our good news of my baby girl and my older brother's new baby boy three weeks earlier, we have another tragedy. My brother, Abby's daddy, died yesterday-or the night before. Mom found him in his room yesterday afternoon. He has battled addiction most of his 34 years. We are at mom's right now going through all the crazy stuff before the quiet, depressing calm. I guess there is not much else to say. It's a sad time, but the babies provide a pleasant distraction to the intense pain.
CommentsBetsey & Grammy, I don't know what else to say except that I'm so, so sorry. I think I am in shock - I can't imagine how you must feel. My thoughts and and prayers are with all of you and I'm praying for your brother, also, during his time of transition. God Bless You All, Gina
CommentsHi Sandy, I just wanted to write a note to you too. I can't imagine the pain of having lost my husband, my grandchild, and now my son. God bless you and keep you in every way. I'll never understand why things happen as they do. I pray for strength for you. I'm so sorry. Love Gina Fimbel
CommentsI JUST FOUND OUT A FEW HOURS AGO ABOUT JEFF. WHEN DADDY TOLD ME I WAS IN TOATL SHOCK. SO MANY EMOTIONS RUN THROUGH YOUR HEAD. I REMEMBER MAMA SAYING THAT JEFF WAS SUCH A HANDSOME AND POLITE PERSON,AND HE WAS. ONE DAY WE WILL KNOW THE ANSWERS TO ALL OF OUR MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT WHY BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO SUCH GOOD PEOPLE. WE ARE PRAYING FOR THE CARLISLES.
CommentsThank you Jim and Gina and everyone who has expressed there sorrow. I don't have to tell you of my love for Jeff and all of my children. My pride was as great for him as for my other children and my love as deep. He wanted so much more from life than he was able to attain. I will devote the rest of my life to trying to help others with this demon addiction. I admire those who can lick it, because it is crippling and terminal when not arrested. Jim, Jeff has a "mama" looking after him in heaven. Connie and I talked so often of our boys and our love for all of you. I'm here for you boys and she's "there" for Jeff. Give the little ones and Julie a big hug and kiss for me. It was comforting to have John with us.
CommentsThank you Jim and Gina and everyone who has expressed there sorrow. I don't have to tell you of my love for Jeff and all of my children. My pride was as great for him as for my other children and my love as deep. He wanted so much more from life than he was able to attain. I will devote the rest of my life to trying to help others with this demon addiction. I admire those who can lick it, because it is crippling and terminal when not arrested. Jim, Jeff has a "mama" looking after him in heaven. Connie and I talked so often of our boys and our love for all of you. I'm here for you boys and she's "there" for Jeff. Give the little ones and Julie a big hug and kiss for me. It was comforting to have John with us.
CommentsThis is hard. I really don't feel like doing anything, but that doesn't make you feel better. I really just don't feel like functioning. I don't have a choice. Just suck it up and change diapers, order and give baths, go to grocery store, cook dinner, check messages, pay bills, have the meeting, call people back, cry all over baby, and start again.
CommentsSweet girl, I wish you were here with me so you could watch the old videos of Jeff being his happy silly self and here tapes of him and Lyle and you when you were younger. Not that things were great then, but that they were great some of the time. Lyle was right - Jeff's life was a paradox and no one knew it better than him. He didn't like addicted Jeff any more than we did. But his powerlessness over alcohol and drugs was so great that he couldn't win the battle. But you know that he loved his family and you he especially admired and appreciated because you are taking care of his most prized possession. He never doubted that you were doing what you feel is best for her. He hated himself for not being able to do it himself. But from this day forward we have to concentrate on seeing to it that his fate is never repeated in any of the new generation of children in this family. That has been a fear of mine for years and now is when we can do things to keep it from happening. I could never go back with Jeff. All I could do was love him and nothing in the world could have put an end to that love - not even the addiction. It's just that now I can't comfort him any more. Maybe his daddy is doing that now. And maybe he's being "silly" for Conner. We need to be together - you and Billy and I. That's really all that can help now - just loving each other.
CommentsBetsey - I am so sorry to hear about Jeff. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family! I heard that silly Poison song "WIN BIG" today and just knew that I had to email you. I am hopefully going to see Shannon this weekend and look forward to seeing you and your new baby girl soon! Please tell Crump and Crowley I said "hello" and again I am thinking about you all! Take care!
CommentsI am so sorry to read the news of Jeff at such a joyous time of the birth of your new baby...my prayers are with you. Belinda
CommentsThanks. It's good to hear from you Kristin. I wish I could visit with you this weekend! Belinda, it's good to hear from you, too. I think about you a lot! I try to think of the things you did with Conner, so I can remember how to play with the baby. I have a tendency to just do what is necessary and not play with the kids. I get Abby to help me pull out toys that may be appropriate for Ansley in her young baby months. I'm going to talk about sma and Conner today. I will probably cry, but I will just warn the class ahead of time. I am not embarrassed and not afraid of crying. This is life and its made up sad and happy stuff. I will also smile when I talk about Ansley and Abby and their celebrated health. Gotta go!
CommentsBy the way, Abby is doing pretty well. She is distracted by her routine and the baby. She had an assembly today and performed beautifully. She's concerned about when we're going to celebrate her birthday. I need to plan it.Maybe the weekend of Nov. 20. She is a remarkable little lady. Abby's positive attitude amazes me. I love her so much and I really ache for her. I know the sadness of losing a daddy and it is a lifetime of what if's and what could have been- but its not.
CommentsNobody has more what ifs than I. But I can pretty much tell you that Jeff's dreams for himself were getting pretty thin. He still had great dreams for Abby and her future, but he was having a hard time seeing a future for himself. He wanted all the things that most men his age had - a home, a job, and especially a family, but getting there was harder and harder and believing in himself was almost impossible. So now we will all see to it that Abby will have the kind of life she deserves - the kind that everyone deserves - full of love and happiness and self confidence.
CommentsI had the most touching experience last night. Tom and Elaine Hickey and some of the guys in the recovery community had a memorial for Jeff in Helen and Gary and I attended. Of course, they told of their personal relationships with Jeff and what he meant to them - how he made them laugh and made them not take themselves so seriously. Also, how much he valued his family and especially Abby. The most touching part of all was a beautiful haunting song that Tom's daughter Kara wrote and recorded for Jeff. I wish I could share it with all of you. Her voice was so beautiful and warm and her words so full of compassion. Jeff would have been truly honored to know that so many people cared so much and that a sweet quiet young girl wrote a remarkable song just for him.
CommentsWell, Abby is doing-she wants to me to say-"awesome baby". The baby is fine, but she's loud and doesn't sleep at night. That can make things a little harder, but she's worth it. We're enjoying her and Abby does a great job helping out. Abby wants to say: Hi Conner. How are you? How is my daddy doing up there? Um...and how are you? I bet better with my daddy. I hope that you will have a good Christmas and a good Thanksgiving. And always know that I'm thinking about you. Love, Abby.
CommentsHey everybody. Abby, I was looking in your daddy's yearbook from a loooong time ago. He looked soooo different. How are you, munchkin? I'm not doing so well. Every time I go to Grammy's, I expect him to be at the door waiting, or when she calls I expect him to be the one on the phone, but he's not. I try to hide my tears because I dont want to show how bad Im really hurting. I miss Jeff and Conner both. And it hurts to cry when I have strep. ugh. Drew has strep and croop. Oh my god it hurts soo bad. GRR. love you love you love you. -Lauren
CommentsMISS YOU. IM WRITING AGAIN AFTER LIKE 5 MINUTES. Abby I was looking at pictures of you adn Drew as babies. Tee hee hee yall were so cute. Drew couldnt talk, punch, kick, or do anything like that...god i want him to stay like that. Abby....honey i like you a LOT better now. You would freak out if i touched you. now you are my shadow...stay that way. haha. love you lots-Lauren
CommentsLauren, you're so sweet. We love you! I am sorry you're sick. And I hate that you are sad. I'm sad, too. My heart hurts. I can't even talk about it because it just seems senseless to even discuss something that can't be changed. Its so complicated and tragic, yet at the same time, just simply-sad. I love you, Lauren. Abby, Ansley and Brandon AND CONNER!!! love you, too!!!!
CommentsI hope everyone out there has a great Thanksgiving. I plan to survive Thanksgiving and it won't be easy. But then for awhile every day is just survival mode and some are harder than others. I don't even try to pretend that things are all right. They stink. It doesn't matter how many people we love when one is missing, it's hard to ignore. I want happiness for everyone, I just don't expect it for me right now. I totally dread having to pretend. I don't like being a "fraud". But I feel like one when I talk about being just fine. I'm here and I have to be. And that's about it. I do thank God for my grandchildren and children but I'm afraid to be thankful for anything because it seems that every time I get thankful for what I have, I lose something dear to me. Acceptance is all I can hope for. Sorry if this sounds negative, but I can't just act like something horrendous has not happened.
CommentsWell, Abby had a very nice surprise Sunday morning. We were going out the door Sunday morning and when Abby opened the door there was a beautiful Christmas tree filing the doorway. It was already in the stand. We had gone to see Christmas with the Kranks the night before and she had gotten into the Christmas spirit. When she opened that door it was like Santa Claus had blessed our house. She yelled, "There's a tree!" What? And there it was, just like Santa or his elves had placed it there. I think the best part is that we can't narrow down the possibilities of friends that would have done something like that. Any one of our sweet friends would be capable of such an act. Thanks.
CommentsTO BETSEY I WANT TO SEE PICTURE OF THE BABY AND I KNOW THAT I WILL SOON BE WITH YOU ALL SOMETIME I WANT TO COME TO CONNER PLACE WARE IS THAT AT I DON'T KNOW WARE IT IS E-M ME BACK LOVE AWLYS JENNIFER
CommentsJennifer, the baby's picture is on page 16 of Conner's photo page. I'll post some more recent ones as soon as I download them. She is a cutie. Check out all her hair. She hasn't lost any and its getting long and curly!
CommentsHey Betsey! This is Channie. I thought about you the other day, so I decided to visit Conner's site! Ansley is gorgeous! She looks just like you. I can't wait to see some more pictures! I am glad to hear that Abby is doing well. I am also sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. We just have to remember that all things (good and bad) work together for good. Take care...when I get a break, I'll stop by your office and I'll bring a little something for Ansley!
CommentsThanks Channie! I was just talking (good) about you the day before yesterday. Thanks so much for keeping up!
CommentsAs a proud grammy to my beautiful new granddaughter, Ansley, I must say that the picture of her on this wesite does not do her justice at all. She is adorable - chubby and sweet and beautiful. That was her one day old picture and she wasn't ready for her debut. To know the real Ansley, you must experience her - she's a total package - good looks, personality and sweetness. I gotta say, she looks more like her daddy than her mommy, but she does have some of mommy's little feminine softness and allure. She and Abby are going to be a dynamic duo.
CommentsWell, it looks like the bad news isn't over for the Carlisle family. Pop Pop fell in the kitchen yesterday and broke his hip. He's in the hospital and may be there for a few days and then he'll need nursing care for several weeks. Mammaw is here with me but not very happy being away from her environment. Yesterday was her birthday - 88. She reminded me of Abby on her birthday when she said "This is what I get for my birthday?" Of course, Abby was looking down at her daddy in the casket. I guess we have to just accept and believe that there's happiness and fun somewhere out there and do the best we can for now. On a lighter note, I get to keep Drew and Dylan tonight. They are a joy.
CommentsI'm sorry you have to deal with this alone, Mom. Breaks from heartaches are few and far between.
CommentsBetsey, One of my friends sons is doing a report on SMA. She asked if I knew what it was (he has to find out how many people out of 100 know what it is). I thought of little Conner and thats how I found this site. Its such a wonderful tribute to Conners life. I remember meeting Conner before his diagnoses when he was still at Pittman Park Education center (my mom is Ms. Doris, the assistant director). He was such a BEAUTIFUL baby! I began working there when Little Jim was a baby (he was def. one of my favorites in my class!). I have not met Caroline since she was born while I was away at college but I know if she looks anything like little Jim, she's adorable. I saw the picture of Ansley and she is gorgeous too! I hope everyone in the Riggs and Carlisle family has a wonderful Christmas.
CommentsThanks so much, Stormy. It's good to hear from you and thanks for keeping up with us.
CommentsHope you all have a great Christmas. I received my Christmas card from the Riggs family and was glad to see that ya'll are keeping Connie's tradition alive. She loved to get the whole family together for pictures and they always came out so good. Gary couldn't get over how much little Jim looks like Sonny. Caroline is a doll. Love to you all, and all the other Conner Riggs supporters out there. Let's all pray for some happiness and relief from sorrow in 2005.
CommentsHope everyone had a good Christmas and has a good New Year. Things are fine here. We're enjoying new babies. Brandon's sister is due Dec. 31, 2004. It could be the first baby of the new year!
CommentsI think you meant 2005 on that baby or Angel is carrying a very tiny baby! Anyway, you get to forget the year occasionally. By the way, I'm picking Mammaw up today and taking her to the Carriage House at Southern Plantation. We have a room ready for her. She is going to be very happy that she'll get to see PopPop today. I hope he will be able to help her understand about where she will be. The people there are very nice and will treat her well. Gary and I will have our little ones for the New Year. This will be the first New Year in four years that we won't be in Hiawassee with our friends. Gair Dad's death and Harry Leather's death and of course our own loss have all made it a sad time for us. Maybe next year we can start some new traditions, but tonight will be fun with Lauren, Abby, Drew and Dylan. We'll miss little Ansley!
CommentsI'm going to miss Abby tonight. We've partied with her for the last couple of New Year's. We'll see who will be able to stay awake until 12. I know Lauren can. Charity's baby is due today! No word so far. Enjoy the babies, mom. They serve as wonderful distractions. It has worked for me. I'll have my nervous breakdown when Ansley becomes independent.
CommentsLauren, Abby and I made it until midnight. Not by choice for me, Dylan just didn't want to cooperate. I would have like to sleep right through the whole process, but the girls were having fun. Drew conked out right before the new year. Gary was dozing off and on. I'm afraid to say that 2004 was the worse year in many, but I don't think I could take one any worse. Pain gets exponentially worse as it accummulates over the years. Frankie called and was rememering last year as was I. We were so happy. Gary and I had had lunch at the Nagoochie Grill where Jeff was working in Helen while living at the Hickey House and very into his recovery. Then we had dinner with our friends in Hiawassee and brought in the New Year with happiness and hope. what happened? Our host is now gone and so is my son. It's just too much to comprehend. Happy New Year to all you Conner lovers. Hope this year brings good health and happiness.
CommentsHAPPY NEW YEAR. Some idiots in charge or whatever in my neighborhood were passing out these flyers for a thing for like Bible Study or something and it said for January 6th 2004. Abby and I were laughing like crazy. Abby can NOT obtain information though. I was talking to her about Destiny's Child and who was in it and stuff and I told her that Beyonce was in it and she was driving me crazy because I was sitting there for 10 minutes explaining who was and wasnt in Destiny's Child. OH MY GOD. We were sewing beanbags and stuff today. We're missing Ansley and Dylan. Grammy had Dylan last night, then gave him back to Mommy and Im at Grammy's tonight and ARGH. Get better Brandon. What did you eat?! DONT EAT NASTY FOOD IT DOES NASTY THINGS. Love y'all -Lauren
CommentsLauren, you sound just like a TEENAGER!! I love you.
Commentshi conner! hows my dad. your getting so old i cant even count the years! are you making alot of friend up there? i hope yur being nise and recpectfull. i love you SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much be good to god and other people up in heaven and down here lOvE aBbY!
CommentsI enjoyed my grandchildren so much over the school holiday. Now I have to get back to dealing with my "aching heart". For some reason, I get very sad about 6:00pm everyday. Dinner time is very hard and I just don't want to eat. I wonder if Jeff knew what a tsunami was...
CommentsHang in there, Grammy. Your grandbabies love you and can't wait to see you. I hate raw pain. It hurts. It is consuming. I still get consumed and overwhelmed by the disappearance of people I wasn't done with yet. I may move on, but I can't stop thinking about things that keep me awake at night. My life is about distracting myself long enough to create something happy for the times I'm not distracted.
CommentsI'm hangin in there. My grandbabies are precious. Had Dylan Tues. night. He is sooo sweet and cute. Wish I were closer to Ansley so I could enjoy her cuteness more often. I miss Abby and her profundities. What a girl! Drew is getting so grown up. He has passed the baby stage totally and Lauren is a young woman. I would like to spend more time with Betsey and Billy also, but it is good knowing they have their "mates" who love them and are loved by them. And with all that said, I miss still Jeff.
CommentsStill adjusting to new baby. Glad mom is coming to help me. Must work to pay for new baby. Must have help with baby to work. When that stuff gets interrupted, I get very stressed out. Ansley's not quite as easy to take to the office as Abby is. Yesterday, I was scheduling a family violence person for an appointment and she starting screaming. Screaming, of course, so I would pick her up. Not for any other reason at that point. She just likes to be close to mommy and daddy. Also, we're teaching her sign language. Not for the sake of her learning a new language because we don't really know sign language. But, we just think it would be neat for her to tell us things before she can talk. And we thought of it before we saw, Meet the Fockers. Also, the quicker we can teach her to communicate effectively, we don't have to hear that very loud, loud cry to tell us she's hungry or that she wants to be just be picked up. No need to cry, just tell us with your hands. She is louder than any baby I've ever heard. There has to be a positive in there somewhere.
CommentsWe have a new picture of Conner's baby sister, Ansley, on page 16 of his photo page. I don't know if can tell but she is a superfatty. I really think that I over feed her due to my inability to feed Conner when he was alive. I am just now sticking to an appropriate amount in a 24 hour period. She LOVES her food and I love seeing her love it. I am so glad she is well and has the ability to suck her bottles and breathe in air on her own. I appreciate every little, tiny thing she does-even her very loudest of the loud cries. I can do without it on headachey days, but I can appreciate it. When Conner was alive, I used to close my eyes and rub his hand on my face. His little hands were so soft. I would have to pull his fingers down my face or rub the back of his hand on my cheek. When I was doing that I would think about when I had another baby-when Conner would be gone and when I would be missing him so bad it made me want to vomit-and I could close my eyes and rub the new baby's hand on my cheek and feel like it was Conner touching me. And then Ansley came along and is so strong and active, I could never control of her hand. But last night while I was holding her sound asleep, I closed my eyes and rubbed her fingers down my face and the back of her soft little hand on my cheek and it felt like Conner. It was just like I had planned, not really knowing back then if I'd ever be able to have another child. She doesn't have to remind me of him in any other way. Just feeling like he touched me was so good.
CommentsI have little "Wiggle Worm" and my big girl Abby. Gary is entertaining Ansley. They were very good on the ride back. Three hours of good is pretty impressive for a 3 month old. Of course, Abby was a big help. She talked to her and fed her a bottle. She's a great big "sister". Sunday we'll celebrate Betsey's birthday, but it's really Courtney's birthday (my niece). Happy Birthday Courtney. It doesn't seem possible that it's been 40 years since you were a little bundle of joy.
Commentsbhnjhkkmnb vnvbn jhn.... she insisted on typing,so....`fxreddxccccvvvvvvvvvvvbn jkm kk, m `tgbbv bg v k
CommentsWe enjoyed the kids and Betsey's "birthday" although she still has a week to go before she's actually 34. Little Ansley and Dylan were so cute together. We put them in front of each other and just let them grab at each other and laugh and make their little baby noises. Pop Pop is moving today into the assisted living part of Souther Plantation. Then Mammaw will be able to return from her sister's house in Griffin and they can be together again. That's all they both want at this point in their lives. There really isn't much else to want. Just family loving family and being together. It's pretty cold here and probably where you all are tool It's just plain cold everywhere, but we can always get warm. How are the Riggs boys doing? How is MaMa?
CommentsI can't believe I'm so old. I have always said, from way back when daddy died when I was 8 to when Conner died, that 35 would be my best year. I don't know why but I've always just felt it. I guess I thought I'd be settled and confident with whatever it was that I'd be doing. I'm getting closer to my best year ever. I'm trying to prepare for it. I'm working hard, building the business, trying to take care of myself and the babies and the marriage. So far, so good. Watch me die on my 35th birthday. That would be cruel. Funny, my fire alarm just went off and I had to jump up and go check on it. I was just telling my intern today to tell me if the fire alarm goes off at the office because it will be Conner saying, "hey."
CommentsThat was Conner saying "Shut your mouth, mama, don't you talk about dying". That's for a long time from now. We all know that it will happen some day, but your day is way off in the future. You must enjoy what you have and keep getting more and more from life. You will have as good a life as you want. It's true that there are things you can't control, those are things you will have to accept. But you have certainly done the things it takes to have a great happy life. Enjoy your youth. It is so fleeting. And I will try to enjoy my "old age". Ooooo that sounds bad. I don't feel old. But I do feel very experienced and seasoned. By the way, you are beautiful!
CommentsThere are some more pictures of Abby and Ansley on page 17 of the photo page. Thanks for caring and checking on us!
CommentsHope everyone out there is staying well. We've had a little sickness with Dylan, Drew, Billy and Shannon. I think they are on the mend, but it is very hard to have the kids sick and Mommy and Daddy, also. Gary is sick now, but I'm just fine. The Carlisle's are back together at Southern Plantation, so that is a big relief. Having them apart was very sad - for them and for us. The weather is still a little crazy, but hope it will be fine for the weekend and little Lisa's wedding. Love to all the Riggs'family and friends.
CommentsAnd Ansley is sick, too. She cried spontaneously all night. I have a presentation at 5:30 I'm not ready for, my house is a mess, the baby is sick, all the clothes are dirty, Brandon's leaving town, my account was overdrawn (deposited too late the day before)WASTED MONEY!!!! there are problems with my program I can't get to, I'm stressed out!!!! However, the baby is sleeping right now, we're all wearing clean clothes and we're clean, I managed to clean baby clothes and a load of necessities for Abby and me, we have groceries, Brandon will help me before he leaves, so we'll make it. I am guessing this scenario isn't uncommon in many households. And now I'm gone to get Abby. And baby is crying again!
CommentsI wish I were closer to you so I could help!!!! I haven't even been able to help Shannon with Gary sick, but he's better now and I just have an eye apointment tomorrow and then I'll be available to help "harried mothers". I remember those days sooooooo well! With three little ones, a husband who was self employed and bills and no insurance - man, those were tough days. But we somehow survived and found more serious things than money to worry about - (not to minimize the lack of money for bills) Security is a big help when all else is failing. Keep your cute little chin up! You and Brandon together will make things work. I'll do what I can when I can to help.
CommentsOkay, I'm cool. I am so thankful I have things to stress out about that can actually be addressed instead of being a helpless slave to circumstances. Yes, that is nice. By the way, Ansley is already talking as much as her mom and dad. Anyone who knows Brandon and me knows we are over talkers. Ansley is giving long winded speeches already....especially around 2am. Again, right in line with her parents.
CommentsThat fits right in with Abby. As you recall, she was talking in paragraphs before she knew what she was saying. Blah, blah, andiekd;aneiahfe tree;aknofda woood, dfjskajfie. that was our girl!
CommentsThe baby is very cute. No matter how bad a day is or how bad my head hurts, like now, her cuteness pushes us through the day...just as Conner's cuteness did and the way Abby's still does. Her cuteness just awoke and is now crying. Just when I think I have a moment of private time I hear THE CRY-sorry, the cute cry...and I'm off.
CommentsHappy Valentine's day to all you lover's out there. My prayer's today are with Frankie. She's in Atlanta Medical Center with broken ribs, punctured lung and torn ear. She's been there for over a week now. Lots of pain. She had an accident on her Kawasaki "mule" coming down the mountain - hit a rock and turned it over on herself. She was airlifted to Atlanta a week ago yesterday. Say a prayer for her speedy recovery. It's very hard to add physical pain to the emotional pain she was already dealing with. Have a good day Riggs' boys and men and women.
CommentsGood news for anyone who cares...Ansley is sleeping through the night in her bed now. 11pm-8am. Life is good. I hope I haven't cursed it.
CommentsI care. I had little Dylan last night and he woke at 2:30 and 5:30. He was starving to death each time. Ate like a pig and went back to sleep. He's soooooo cute and sweet. I didn't even mind getting up with him, but poor Mommy has to do it every night. I don't think the neocate is very satisfying. However, he did eat alot of sweet potatoes and some cereal before he went to bed and he slept from 10:00 to 2:30 before he just HAD to eat again. Babies are so sweet and they don't stay babies for long. Lauren has a cold and sore throat. She needs to take zinc and vitamin C. Hope I'll see Abby and Ansley this weekend, huh?
CommentsI love the monotony of the reports. I love not reporting that people are sick or dead. I love talking about what a pain it is that babies aren't sleeping-because they will. I love complaining that work is overwhelming because it will level off-as it always does. I love talking about things that are NORMAL! I will never take my normal, middle class, boring, too busy, baby crying, Abby loving life for granted. I love it and I appreciate it. I just cry about it spontaneously every once in a while. I am so grateful I have two healthy kids and a home and a job and a thoughtful husband and great father to my babies. I am so afraid of losing it all again. I just need to live my days and thank God and have faith that it everything will be okay!!!
CommentsThere sure are alot of people who are worse off than we are, right? I do like to think about "heaven" every once in awhile and wonder what "they" are doing over there. Jeff Lyle gives me hope that there really a paradise - a golf course for my daddy, some babies for my mom (Conner and Jacqueline) Bill, Tommy, Ansley and Robert for Jeff, along with a little mothering from Connie. Sounds like heaven to me! I'm going to enjoy my little boys (Dylan and Drew) while their mommy and sister get their hair done. They are such sweeties. I want to see little Rooster Head and the rest of her family this weekend some time. Abby is so excited because she's going to take DRUM lessons. You know Betsey and Brandon love her to allow that. Uncle Robert took drums when he was a kid and I have a very accomplished drummer uncle in Charleston who plays in a Dixieland Band with his son. So drummers are good people!
CommentsBetsey, Congrats on Ansley sleeping thru the nite! I ejoy hearing you & Sandee talk about all the baby adventures. I am anxiously awaiting those moments myself! You know I will be calling for advice so be prepared!!
CommentsI enjoyed the weekend with all the kids. Drew and I had some much needed "one on one" time. He is so sweet and really likes to get a chance to show what he can do. He's reading very well. Loves to get in the kitchen with me and loves to go outside with Grandaddy and shoot the gun and ride the motorcycle. He's such a good age - 5yrs old. Still little enough to appreciate us and big enough to be fun to talk to. The little babies were precious this weekend, too. I love seeing them grabbing each other by the hair, ear, nose, etc. and laughing at each other. Lauren looks beautiful with her new hairdo and her very attractive glasses. Abby is starting her drum lesson on Wed. Everyone is doing well.
CommentsOh yes, they were very cute this weekend. They just wanted to eat each other's faces. Each of them are in the want to eat everything phase. You think they want to love on you but they just want to eat you. You think they are doing good picking up a toy or loving on a stuffed animal, but no, they just want to eat it (bite on it or suck on it). Ansley's goal is to get everything she comes into contact with into her mouth. I walked out of the kitchen for just a moment when she was in her walker and she had managed to get the exterminating invoice pulled of the fridge, wadded into a big paper ball and a quarter of it wet and torn. That was swift and educational. Had I been watching, I would have been amazed at her coordination. Needless to say, all of the magnets are now at the top of the fridge.
CommentsBETSEY I WAN,T TO SEE MORE PICTURES OF ALSHEY SO E-M ME A LONG LATTER NOW AND JUST LET ME KNOW HOW YOU ARE DOING I TALK TO JOHAN THE OUTHER DAY AT SNOOKE PLACE SO I CAN,T WAT TO HER FROM YOU JENNIFER SEND ME PICTURES SOON
CommentsJennifer (and others), you are so sweet to check up on us. I will post some pictures soon. I'm not good at taking pictures. I put Ansley's hair up in two ponytails tonight and actually took a picture,though. It was very cute! I also bought her a barbi baseball hat. She's cool. I'm looking forward to visiting with you Jennifer!
CommentsHi Betsey, Grammie, Conner, and Ansley, Just checking in on you all. It's been a while but I do think of you. Hope it's warmer in Georgia than it is here! ;o) I've been freezing lately. We got a new dog, Jack, so I take him outside alot. Anyway, Ansley is beautiful, Betsey. I'm so, so happy for you. I can't even imagine how it feels to have a baby after such a devastating loss. I actually begin IVF/PGD this week (next Friday!) so keep your fingers crossed for us. I am SO EXCITED to be starting the process...FINALLY. We began in September but had to cancel the cycle (long story!). Well, I'm actually thinking of taking a nap before some family comes over so I'll get off here. Take care all of you! With love, Gina
CommentsThanks Gina for checking in with us. I am so interested in the process. I did a lot of reading about it. I am thinking of you. I know it is an exciting time. There is hope and that sure is a good feeling. I hope to keep up with you and hear good news! Also, I heard sma get some coverage on Fox News today. I missed it on tv, but checked their website and saw the story. They said if they had enough money to do the research, they could find a cure in two years. But, there is not enough money to do the research needed. And we all know that. I admire all the sma parents (and Maria) that are raising so much money.
CommentsWe are all praying for that cure. No one should ever have to go through what all of the families have and are going through. And the babies - the innocent little souls who just want to be healthy like everyone else. I hope the cure will come in my lifetime. Just got back from North Ga. and my friend's slow recovery process from her accident. She will be fine with time. We're looking forward to another family wedding this month. Betsey's cousin Tommy is getting married. Good opportunity to get the family together and watch those babies being adorable and funny.
CommentsHey everybody. I am at Grammys with my best friend, Alex. We're looking at all the kids on the website. They're so cute! I miss everyone so much! Abby, I heard your drum teacher was cute... ;) Ooh la la! Ya know, if you dont mind, I'll...you know...come down and see him...if you don't mind...hehe. I love you guys. Bye bye!
CommentsWell, if you think that last message sounded like a 12 year old girl, you should have been here. It's been a long time since I heard so much GIGGLING!!! And "boy talk"! Betsey, do you remember being an adolescent little boy-crazy girl? (I do, but barely.) Hope everyone is doing well. Today's mine and Gary's anniversary. Doesn't seem like a year since that fun day when we had the whole family together, sober, alive...What a good day!!!
CommentsI remember. Abby and I act that way sometimes...really just to tease Brandon. Okay, mom was a phone witness to the bizarre animal Conner sent me this time. I went over to the office this morning around 9 and met John and his MaMa so she could meet Ansley. I got out of the car and walked around towards the door and something caught my eye. It was coming right to me. I thought it was a cat at first because we have cats all around my office (sometimes dead ones). Anyway, I looked up and it was a ROOSTER!!!! coming right at me. It crossed the street, and walked towards me. And I really don't know why it crossed the road. Then John and the ladies drove up and we all wondered why a Rooster wandered up. So what is significant about a rooster? THAT'S ANSLEY'S NICKNAME!!!!!!!! We call her "Rooster" because of her high rooster hair. Well, that rooster stayed at my office all day. It raked all the leaves away from the fence. It was there when we left at 5:15 p.m. I didn't even know it was a Rooster. Richard-he's kinda country folk-had to tell me that it was rooster. Abby and I wanted to bring it home, but they told us it was just about impossible to catch him. Richard said if we did catch him, he'd scratch us all up. I've always wanted a pet chicken. Maybe he'll be there tomorrow.
CommentsDuh, Betsey...why did the rooster cross the road? Come on, "to get to the other side"! Anyway, that is strange and to add to the strange rooster story, when I picked Lauren up the other day I saw a dead rooster on the road.(he didn't make it to the other side). So how is little Rooster head today? I'm coming to see you all soon. Either today or tomorrow - haven't decided yet. I need a Abby/Ansley/Betsey fix.
CommentsWell, the rooster remains. He was in our neighbor's front yard peckin around today. Ansley is a mess. She is so loud and so kicky. She's so big and when she starts crying and kicking, it HURTS. Its like an 18 month old hitting and kicking you.
CommentsNow Betsey you know that Ansley is perfectly happy if you just play with her. She just wants all of your attention all of the time. Is that so hard to grasp? Seriously, she is so adorable and how can you help but want to keep her happy and laughing and kicking. She and Abby are quite a pair. Two happy little girls.
CommentsI am so glad she is strong and has muscles, but she kicked Brandon-you know where-and kicked Abby in the face yesterday. Whether she's happy or freakin out, she packs a strong, heavy, hurtful kick. Ask Brandon.
CommentsWe need to find a way to "harness" that energy and strength. I'm looking forward to later today when Betsey, Abby, and Ansley will be arriving to go to Tommy's wedding tomorrow. Also, we're going to have Dylan tonight. Ansley and Abby make him laugh. He is soooo sweet. I hope everyone will be well for tomorrow. We've had lots of coughs, colds, fevers, etc.
CommentsHappy Easter! We had a good Easter despite the weather. I am so thankful that we were blessed with our beautiful baby girl and Abby, of course. I know its not Thanksgiving, but every Holiday that is related to Jesus/God, I think of Conner and I think of how lucky I am to have Abby and Ansley. I think of the suffering that Conner went through and all I learned from him. He gave me the courage to keep living and appreciate my life and be happy. And, like his roommate, Jesus, he's a special little poopie pot.
CommentsI LIKE CONNER WEB PAGE HE IS SO CUTE I LOVE ELMO HE IS MY FAVERT E-MME MORE PICTURES OF THE NEW BABY GIRL AND HOW OULD IS SHE NOW LET ME NO I SAW WARE CONNER PLACE IS
CommentsJennifer, she is 6 mos. old now. I will put up some pictures soon. I'm just rushing around all the time, so I don't do it. Business has doubled in March. I think its because the courts are paying more attention to the family violence program, and other people are enforcing it more. But, I have signed a lot of people up this month. We have six full classes a week of adult family violence offenders, men and women. Conner's Place is implementing 3 programs and 14 classes right now in Bulloch and Evans Co.'s. We have grown so much in the past couple of years. I am finally able to pay the bills, pay three facilitators, pay for maintenance of Conner's Place, pay for someone to watch Ansley at Conner's Place with me and manage the business. My dream was to do what I want and spend time with the kids. I'm kind of doing that. I have to work a lot, but I do have them around me a lot of that time. And I do have my LAZY time. I do rest. Sundays are my day of rest. I rest ALL DAY. It should be my cleaning day, but its not. I now make enough to pay someone to do that to. But, as mom knows, that only lasts about an hour before the house is a mess again. Anyway, I am happy to report that business is going very well. Conner's little spirit is with me and cheering me on. And I feel like my work is meaningful which is what I've always needed. Conner's angel anniversary is coming soon, April 19. I wonder if he'll send us a sign. I'm thinking a talking stuffed animal (with the batteries out) or the fire alarm when there's no smoke or fire. I'll let you know what sign he sends. He's pretty consistent.
CommentsI forgot to tell you our new website for Conner's Place is www.connersplace.com.
CommentsI'm all alone after a hectic week with Abby, then on Friday we added Drew and Lauren and on Sat. we added Dylan. Yesterday (Sunday) everyone went home. Time to work on getting my house in order, so to speak. I miss those sweet little faces and look forward to the summer when I can have them with me again. The only one missing was Ansley, so I'll hvae to make up for lost time with her. Abby and I did alot of "lunching". We met with some of her dad's old friends and she was able to find out about him as a youngster. And we enjoyed Nana and more pampering for Abby. I look forward to the next time and I will try to be rested up for the "action".
CommentsBaby has a tooth. She is almost, just about crawling. She's doing a little bunny hop. She's got her wave perfected. Last, Ansley is HUGE. I love to hear it-"She's a FINE baby."
CommentsI dreamed I had a little boy last night. I miss Conner. I find myself saying things to Ansley that I forgot I used to say to Conner. There's that picture where I am kissing Conner on the cheek and he's smiling. I used to kiss his cheek and neck and he'd do his little weak laugh. I do that to Ansley and she laughs out loud. Everytime I do that I think of that picture of Conner. Its on the webpage. I think I'll go look at it again.
CommentsSo, today we went to the courthouse lawn to plant the pinwheels for Prevent Child Abuse Month. The lady from the paper got a picture of Abby planting a pinwheel and Ansley was picking them out and trying to eat them. I had to repair two of them. Each pinwheel represents a case of child abuse in Bulloch County. We planted more than 400. Abby is an unofficial member of our local council. She's been a part of the activities so much. Now we've inducted Ansley. Just like the Silver Lining Club. Ansley is has become a regular on Saturdays. Ansley has to be the youngest volunteer ever.
CommentsThat wasn't Ansley and Abby in the newspaper picture! But those kids were cute, too. The important thing is that they got a picture of kids planting pinwheels. We were in the car at the main intersection of the courthouse yesterday and some of the pinwheels had fallen down. Abby said, those must be the kids that died. How sad. She dressed up as Martina McBride today for school. They had to dress up as the person they want to be when they grow up. I think Martina is a pretty good choice. I'm so proud.
CommentsI added a couple of pictures to the photo page. Ansley and Brandon and Ansley, me and our Aunt Ruth from Charleston. We went to Hilton Head last weekend. We enjoyed our mini vacation with you mom. Anyway, mom took pictures. Abby told me she sang Concrete Angels at school today. She had printed out the lyrics from the computer and took them to school to sing the song. I didn't know she planned to do that. Brandon took her this morning, so she must have grabbed them before she left. I would NEVER have had the nerve to sing in front of ANYONE when I was her age. I better get her singing lessons so she doesn't end up like those poor people from American Idol. I'm tired, good night.
CommentsI'm very proud of all my girls - Betsey, Abby, Ansley, Lauren and Shannon! A fine and beautiful bunch of Carlisle and Blair womankind. I enjoyed our mini vacation also, now I want a REAL one. I've been researching places to go in June or July - most are filled up but I'll find something.
CommentsTomorrow is Conner's heaven birthday. I will not be sad. I actually voluntarily went into the playroom and picked through and cleaned toys of Conner's for Ansley to play with. I have not been able to clean in there for longer than 10 minutes before without crying and then going straight to my bedroom. I thought I was just being lazy and using that as an excuse not to clean. However, it was very different today. It was so much easier to clean up when I didn't have the "throw things away" mindset. When I thought I was recycling things for Ansley, it made the task possible. I didn't CRY!!!! And I found so many toys that Ansley could play with. And she dug out a lot of them tonight. She played with this toy we had gotten for Conner when he was about 6-8 months old. We were still thinking then that we could build some muscle or work on coordination. I can't imagine how we thought that. I remember thinking then that he was doing some things better. That makes me sad. Anyway, the toy that Ansley found in the mountain of Conner toys I cleaned was a butterfly toy with buttons. One button has ABC on it and the other has 123. It says something like "hey baby" and laughs with one button. We bought that one for Conner to practice bringing both hands together. He had to each hand to each of the wings of the butterfly. Each week he worked on trying to bring both hands up to the wings. Of course, as each week passed it was harder and harder for him to do it instead of practice making perfect. I can't explain the very, very deep appreciation for seeing my new, healthy baby grabbing the butterfly with one hand and slinging it out of the hamper. And holding her knowing she is not going to die is such a pleasure. SO! on Conner's heaven birthday, April 19, 2005, I will look at my babies, as I do, and really appreciate how healthy they are. Actually, I'm taking Ansley in because I think she has an ear infection, but still it won't kill her. I have healthy babies and a very, super duper healthy guardian angel baby! And that makes me happy.
CommentsWe were just thinking of precious Conner and family on his angel day. Kalair enjoyed the pictures of Baby Ansley, she is becoming a big sister in June so she is extra interested in other people's cute babies. Hugs to you, Betsey, and all who love your precious angel boy...
CommentsThank you. Kalair is beautiful. I checked the site and she is definitely a princess. We had a good day yesterday. I asked Brandon if any reptiles had visited him and he said he found a snake in his truck earlier. I guess that counts. We went to the grave site and I put a plant there. Ansley played with the little cars on his stone that have been there since he died. It wasn't a depressing day. It was sunny and happy and I'm glad he's peaceful and happy. The only thing he would feel bad about with regard to being in heaven would be our pain. And if we resolve our pain and misery then he will be more at peace in heaven.
CommentsConner has another angel friend. Elizabeth Murray was a beautiful little girl that lived here in Statesboro. She had a different condition than Conner. Her muscles were tight while Conner was floppy. There were other differences but they were more alike than different, I felt. Conner was able to meet Elizabeth when her parents brought her over one day-over three years ago. I only met her twice,once when her parents brought her over and then at her visitation. And she was just as beautiful on Saturday as when we first met her. Abby said she looked like a doll. So did Conner. Its amazing how "un-normal" Conner looked when he alive, but how beautiful and perfect he looked at his visitation. Okay, I have to work. I didn't get much done yesterday or today. The baby and everyone else is asleep, so now I can work uninterrupted. She had her shots today so she was kind of crazy tonight. I mean she wasn't freaking out crying, but just active and untired and wired. I let her play until she couldn't sit up anymore. She said, da-da for the first time over and over. She is just over 21 lbs and 28 1/2 inches long. She's crawling and pulling up. She's saying "bahbahbah" and "abbuh" and "da-da-da" and "nananana" and she loves to roll her tongue. The doctor said he thought she'd be about 5'10". hmmmm
CommentsGrammy's visiting. It makes life so much easier. And I don't have to cook.
CommentsHi Miss Betsey! Thank you for signing my guestbook! I will try not to mind my little brother's crying too much, although I am the princess and he'll need to remember that! I'd love to see some more recent pics of Ansley, it sounds like she is not a little baby anymore. We are glad Conner's angel day was a nice day, and I'm sure that snake was from him! I hope you are having a great day, I have to go get coughed and get ready because my daddy is coming to visit me today! Give Baby Ansley a kiss for me. Love, Princess Kalair
CommentsI enjoyed my visit with Conner's sister, Ansley and his cousin, Abby. They are such sweet beautiful girls. Conner would have enjoyed being with them. He loved Abby and I know he's watching over her and Ansley. I also know he is showing his Uncle Jeff around heaven. I miss them and all the other angels in heaven. When I think of Conner, I think of Connie. I hope all of my Riggs' family (and Conner family) are doing well. My heart is with you now and on May 15. Love you guys...
CommentsHEY ALL! SORRY ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I WROTE, NO EXCUSE. GLAD TO SEE THAT EVERY BODY IS DOING WELL. CAROLINE AND JIM JUST CELEBRATED THEIR BIRTHDAYS IN APRIL. CAROLINE IS STARTING TO WALK AND JIM IS PLAYING T-BALL. NO OTHER NEWS THAN THAT . I HAVE TRANSFERRED TO THE DRUG SUPPRESSION TEAM AT THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE SINCE DEC. AND ITS A VERY REWARDING JOB. WHEN IM ABLE TO MAKE AN ARREST ON SOMEONE WHO IS DEALING POISON TO OUR COMMUNITY IT GIVES ME GREAT SATISFACTION! I KNOW THE NEGATIVE EFFECT IT HAS HAD ON OUR FAMILIES. LOVE YOU ALL.
CommentsI hate it when all that stuff clogs up on here. What is it and how does it get here? That's horrible if someone actually takes the time to do that. Anyway, Ansley is getting so big and wanting to do everything Abby does. She is so content playing with her toys. Of course, she is independent. She can manage just fine on her own until she gets hungry or tired. Then she tracks you down. We've had the stomach virus that was going around. I wanted to die on Monday. I still can't eat. I finally have someone that is coming to house to take care of the baby. I hate it but she needs a routine and I need to pay bills. I have the mornings with her and Caron has the afternoons. She is also the nurse with our Alzheimer's people. I am partial to nurses. I hope she'll stay around, but I'm sure she'll need something in her field and need more hours eventually. Anyway, that's all boring stuff. That's all the stuff I wished I could have been talking about five years ago instead of trying to figure out how we going to have to stay home and be nurses and pay bills and still end up without our baby. Needless to say, I feel such a deep appreciation for being able to go to work and spend time with my beautiful babies. If I don't say it enough, no matter how hard things get, I appreciate every hug and kiss and cry and all the imperfections of Betsey, Brandon, Abby and Ansley.
CommentsI noticed that other sites have that "stuff" on them also. Wish something could be done about it. Anyway, I wanted to say that I met another family who has a sweet little sma child. She is Amanda Stein and she was born on April 13, 1999, so she is almost 6, the same age Conner would have been. Gary and I met her Aunt Ellen and Uncle Kerry in Highlands where we went for a couple of days. Small world. Betsey, one of the women we met also said that one of her friends owns "The Daily Grind" in Statesboro. I told her we really enjoyed it. This lady, Sandy Roper, is from Greensboro. So, it was a good trip. Also, Gary and I climbed a mountain - how's that for 70 and 61? Jim, I'm so glad to hear that you're arresting the drug dealers. I know one up here I'd like to see get arrested. Give those sweet babies of yours a big kiss for me.
CommentsHi guys, I just wanted you to know that the spam on the journals and guestbooks around aren't the acts of individuals but rather of a spamming program that can put multiple spams on multiple websites. I'd been able to mostly keep up with it until these last few weeks, and now they're killing me. I have over 120 websites getting hit with these, and they are happening multiple times a day now. I can no longer come close to keeping up with all of them. So I am looking to switch out the types of journals/guestbooks I use on the sites, and that should stop this type of spam. In the meantime, I will continue to go through as I have so far and remove them as I can. Just ignore them and I will get them off as best I can... Laura
CommentsThanks Laura. Well, Abby has completed the first grade. And Ansley has gotten her top two teeth. It has meant more sleepless nights. Those wear me out. We had no kids last night and Brandon and I slept until 1 pm today. We slept until we just couldn't sleep anymore. We feel rich with sleep now. And then as the week progresses, we'll be very poor again. There is just nothing interesting or out of the ordinary to write and that makes me so very happy. This is the longest I've gone in a long time without any drama. I love the uneventful, normal day after day after day. That doesn't include the work drama though, but that doesn't count. As long as the drama isn't hitting my loved ones, I can deal with it. Work drama is a whole other story. I mean I work with violent offenders. There is always drama with the agencies, the youth offenders, the adult offenders, the families of the offenders. But when I come home its calm, loving and safe-just like I like it.
CommentsIf one of us isn't dealing with drama - another one is - luckily we are always here to support each other. My bother is in jail - again. He is making poor choices - and drugs are certainly influencing his decision making. Thanks to Jim and and my "new" Jeff (a police officer in Gwinnett) who are trying to make a difference. Speaking of Jeff - things with him are wonderful. He is so very good to me. I am like a sponge soaking up all his kindness. Carson is wonderful too. He is getting so big and has such a cute personality. It is a joy to be his mommy. I wish I was getting to go to FL to see you all this weekend - but I have to be at graduation at 7:00 on Saturday. How inconvenient!!! I miss you all - enjoy a cold one for me - except Lisa :)
CommentsI hate all those things. Well, Alison, like me you know the drama. I always use you in my discussions of family roles in the drug intervention class. I say I have a friend named Alison who was the hero child. She made good grades. She is successful. She has done great. But there are the family addiction issues that exist that have, in part, made you who you are. Unfortunately for those kids, if they are in my drug intervention class, "they ain't the hero children." Regardless, you have overcome a lot and while others have commented on my being an inspiration, you have always overcome obstacles in a respectable and determined manner. And I, my friend, am inspired by and admire YOU! From the time we met as 12 year old babies, I have looked up to you for your ability to take care of yourself. I have only learned to do that in the last couple of years. Regardless, I love you and I'm proud of you!!!!! You deserve all the happiness in the world.
CommentsAmen to that. I also admire Alison. I'm very sorry to hear about your brother. I wish there were some way to stop this disease in its tracks, but unfortunately it remains a disease that resists treatment. Each person who goes through it does so with his own set of circumstances and his own path to follow. The pain only gets worse with time. I hope there will be someone who can get through to Ryan while he is young enough to gain the self esteem necessary to fight for a life for himself. He needs to know his value and that he is worthy of good things and doesn't have to find his niche in this world among the scum and negativity that drugs will draw to him. On a happy note, Abby and I have been having lots of fun. We had an "American Idol" party for two last night and we pulled Carrie through to VICTORY. Of course, we would not have been disappointed if Bo had won. We ate chocolate cake and drank milkshakes and curled hair - what a ball! I have to give her up to Betsey tomorrow, but when she comes back, I'll be ready for some more fun. Lauren and Drew are now out of school. Lauren had a "party" to go to last night - 6-10PM -boy's house. She's growing up. Drew is a super star on his baseball team. And Dylan is just perfect. Oh yeah...and then there's Ansley. Well, what can I say about that "crazy woman". She is Lucille Ball with brown curly hair, and I love her!
CommentsHaving to deal with the trash in these websites is very disheartening. The vultures that can find a way to ruin something as good as this should be hung upside down by their toenails. Anyway, Betsey, Brandon, Abby and Ansley got back last night from a good trip to Tampa where they visited pregnant Lisa. Good luck with the delivery, Lisa. I know the baby will be beautiful. I bet your mom is excited about another grandchild and your first baby. We've had a rainy weekend, but got lots of rest and caught up on movies. Miss my babies. I'm going to get Lauren in a little while. We need some woman to woman time.
CommentsWell, we had a good trip. The drive wasn't so bad because I didn't drive. I was exhausted though. The baby was all off. She did have many caretakers, adorers and holders. Last night I was singing the itsy bitsy spider and she started doing the hand motions to it. It was SO CUTE! Oh well, I have to go and look up stuff on how to raise a strong willed child.
CommentsBetsey, we enjoyed your visit so much!! Abby & Ansley are little Angels! I am so happy for you & Brandon you have such a beautiful family, you deserve it!! You guys are welcome anytime!! Next time our daughters can all play together. Only 8 more weeks!!!!!!!
CommentsWE'RE BEING ATTACKED by the virus! Its eating us up and spreading like wild fire.
CommentsLisa, we must have been writing at the same time. It is so beautiful at your house, Lisa, as you know because you see it everyday. We had a great time in the pool. That was Ansley's first swim. I can't wait for our babies to play together. We'll have to watch out for Karis though because Ansley has a habit of grabbing onto skin and squeezing really tight. Due to an incident two days ago, my nose is scabbed and bleeds when I wash my face. SHE IS STUBBORN! STUBBORN!!!!! She can cry her head off, full strength for 30 minutes without a break. I start thinking she may have developed some serious condition within that 30 minutes or that she's wet her diaper and it hurts??? So, with lots of guilt, I grab her up to inspect and she suddenly gives me a chuckle and a grin. "Ah-DAAAA" which usually means, "Like it, like it, like it." Before I get her I feel like a horrible parent for having let Ansley cry for what seems like an eternity. Then, I feel like I've perpetuated Ansley's belief that we are suckers for her pathetic cry. And we are. And she is good at her job. Ansley gets her needs met and more.
CommentsBetsey/Grammy: I'm so excited that I just have to share my news....I'm 12 weeks pregnant!!!! :o) The babies (yes, TWINS) are SMA FREE! Praise the Lord! I feel like it's too good to be true - it's hard to relax - did you feel that way? I still think of Conner and you guys. Love, Gina
CommentsI am so happy for you. I can't help but cry. That's wonderful. Thank you, God.
CommentsGina, I join Betsey and you in the joy of knowing you are carrying two healthy babies. God is good and gives us babies to fill our hearts. I know that our angels, Conner and Andrew, are rejoicing in heaven with your great news! The twins will, no doubt, wear you out with sleepless nights and much work, but I'm sure you will agree that it's worth it all to have that prize and those little bundles of giggles. Our Ansley and our Dylan are getting cuter and sweeter everyday and I don't know what we would do without them. We may have to face great sorrow from time to time, but the joy always follows. Good luck with the pregnancy and try not to worry. Do as the doctor says and relax and enjoy!
CommentsOh! Laura cleared some mess off of here. Abby, Ansley and I are at Grammy's. Brandon needed a break from traveling. He probably needed a break from the loud, stressful houseload, too. It's nice to get some peace and quiet knowing everyone is safe and coming home soon. I have mom's help here so its not so bad. We're going to Drew's birthday party tomorrow. Drew was born 1 month before Conner. In fact, I'm looking at a picture just to the right of mom's computer of Drew and Conner when they were about 4 months old. Conner is floppy in his bouncy seat with his head turned to Drew who is sitting up on the floor beside him. I actually thought at that time that Conner might still live. I will certainly be thinking of him tomorrow and wondering what his 6th birthday party would have been like. Drew is having a Star Wars party. I guess Conner would have liked to have a Star Wars party. If he were there and healthy he would be right up next to Drew while he blew out the candles and opened presents. They would have been so close, just one month apart. Conner would have been probably four inches taller than Drew. I just wonder if Conner would have been a motor mouth like John and I were as kids (and Ansley, so far.) I just don't know. I don't think about this stuff everyday, just at milestone days. Anyway, I miss my baby. I love my current babies. Okay, mom's calling me to watch old videos of Conner and Abby.
CommentsOne thing that seems similar with Conner and Ansley is their sense of humor. I know that's impossible to measure at this time, but I feel like they both have(had) a good sense of humor when they aren't irritated with not having what they want at that moment. Wait, that sounds like me.
Commentsloads of junk. That's what my life feels like. You have sort through the junk and find the messages.
CommentsAll the junk is gone. I can see clearly now. Baby is super big. I told Brandon she is massive. She's like those really big babies you see on Maury Povich. I don't feed her junk, just maybe one or two bottles too many. Regardless, she is so cute. And Abby is growing up so fast, too. And Brandon is growing up, too, I guess. His 27th birthday is this weekend. Wow, it seems like just yesterday I was robbing the cradle. And now he's growing into an adult.
CommentsAnsley has a new party trick. She does zerbert kisses. She is so active and big, we have to use toddler pull-up pants with her. They're pretty cute. They have princesses on them. She could care less about princesses, though. All she cares about is having mommy, daddy, sissy, a toy or bottle right by her side. Our air conditioner in our house is broken, and I feel like I have entered hell. Ansley is the only one sleeping. That makes me think she may have been cold in the past. hmmm. I can't wait to get to my nice cold office tomorrow.
CommentsAnsley is so adorable and Abby is such a little lady. They both have just the right amount of "quirky" to make them true Carlisle blood. I kept Dylan, Drew and Lauren last Saturday. They are sooo sweet. Drew adores Dylan. He said the happiest day of his life was the day Dylan was born. How sweet that is. Sorry about the ac. Can you imagine living in the fifties when only window units were available and everyone didn't have them.
CommentsThat's kinda funny you say the fifties. While we were sweating in the kitchen making dinner last night, I asked Abby if she could imagine that people didn't have air conditioning in their homes (a lot of people still don't) but back then they couldn't. I told her it was a little further back than the fifties. I'm too embarrassed to say. Anyway, Brandon, Abby and I went to see the new Veggietales show. They were screening it at the church up the street for the kids, but we love veggietales, too. Of course, I thought of our sweet Conner. I know he was there with us. I brought Ansley out of the nursery when the silly songs were playing at the end and she loved all the action. She told a group of older boys (6 or 7 yr olds) "hey." She made eye contact with the little pack of boys and put up her arm in the air and said, "Uh-Daaa!" They said, "Hey, baby." Ansley's very independent. I remember Abby being that way. Abby's mom did a very good job of teaching her what she could and couldn't touch. So you could put Abby down anywhere and not worry about her messing with stuff. Now Ansley on the other hand, we'll have to see. She knows, "no" because if I just say the word even without grabbing her hand, her lip will curl and she cries her very loud cry for just under 10 seconds-then moves on. She cried a little while ago in her sleep and I went in and picked her up. She was limp-for her-over my shoulder and it felt like Conner. She's about the weight he was at 2 and a half. He was about 22 pounds. She's about 23 pounds. I would hold him and close my eyes and feel the feeling knowing I would hold another child one day and try to feel that same feeling. I closed my eyes and rubbed her back and for just a moment I felt it. It's like a quick visit. The weight felt familiar, her/his head on my shoulder and rubbing the back and, of course, the love. It felt good and sad at the same time. I felt like I was loving and holding both my babies all in one moment in time. I live for moments like that. I could hold her forever if I wanted to. I could only hold Conner over my shoulder for about two seconds unless his bipap was on-then for 30 seconds, maybe. Oh, my babies. Soon, Abby and Ansley will grow up and all of this pain and the joy of babies will be far in the background. I am just looking forward to raising kids that will want kids and be able to take care of them. Cross my fingers and pray.
CommentsI'm sorry but I just can't take it anymore! I didn't want to give this LOONEY LURKER the time of day to even comment on all of the crap this person posts here. It just makes me ill - do you have no dignity or self-respect (obviously not)? How can you post such crap on this beautiful site of this precious little angel boy - you must have no heart. NO ONE HERE VISITS YOUR LINKS ANYWAY!!!!! IT'S JUST A BIG WASTE OF YOUR TIME!!!!
CommentsI know. Its so aggravating! Laura Stants has done a great job of going back and removing it. I know it must take her forever getting all of it off the sites. Ansley stood up on her own for 30 seconds twice yesterday. She'll be walking in no time.
CommentsHey, Gina, it's good to see you. I hope the babies are doing well. :) I was gone for 4 days without computer access, which is why the spam grew. I typically delete spam on the guestbooks at the end of every day. The only way you notice is by the date of the existing spam, otherwise it may look like it doesn't change, but it does. It isn't a person lurking or a person at all, but a computer program that targets specific types of guestbooks and can do mass spam on many of them at once. Many of the angels sites get hit. I am trying to replace this type of guestbook or journal with another type, but until I get it ready, and I am waiting on someone else for part of that, I simply have to delete entries every night. On the times I'm gone for 2-4 days, a lot will accumulate, but I promise I will be back and get it off again when I return...
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