IF SHE ONLY KNEW

Does she know

I should have stayed

to hold her,

one last time to

tell her stories.....

sing her song......

one last time to hear her laugh?

Does she know I

love her with all

my heart?

Does she know

it was not her that

was cause for resentment.......

never her.....

only what it had

done to her.....

to our life?

Does she know

I would have carried

her inside me

the rest of my life

just to protect her?

Does she know

Mama would have taken

over for her....

just so she could live free?

Does she know

how hard it was to close

the door, lay the flowers down

and walk away?

Does she know I

touch the pillow

where she slept and

rock the baby that

sang pretty music

to her?

Does she know

I look at her

smiling face every day?

Does she know my

tears fall as I remember

"Mama, I want to hold you"

and my arms ache to do so.

Does she know

the only thing

that keeps me going

is the dream that

she is running and

breathing free?

Does she know

Mama would give anything

in the world

to be with her right now???

Does she know?

November 1990